When you arrive at work at 7:30 am and leave at 5:00 pm, you aren’t “leaving early”. You are leaving “on time”.

“On time” for what?

On time to arrive on a dinner date with a significant other and enhance a bond between you.

On time to cuddle with a kid or grandkid and directly influence his or her view of their place in the world.

On time to visit or call a parent who sincerely loves the time you give back to him or her.

I’d go on but I have to get back to work.

So I can leave on time.

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Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Yann Seitek

Those of my friends here who know me, even if only in passing, know I’ve a deep respect for our military. Today I think about those who have died in service to protect my family and form of government.

It’s not just because my family life line has proudly served in the military. I am a fan of family tradition, but this isn’t the reason.

It’s not because I’ve bought into the media hype that wants to turn our military soldiers into superheroes with hearts of gold. This is also the same media that sold us the stories of heartless butcher soldiers in our employ a few decades ago.

It is because those who serve in military – both the individuals and their families who support and pray for them – are part of what keeps our style of government intact.

This is so important.

Those who know me also know I’m very critical of our gov’t. I watch it closely and support and encourage those who challenge decisions made by those who are supposed to represent us.

So why, do you ask, do I support the military, who keeps the system of gov’t that I critique intact?

Why would I want to keep this system alive, if I’m always watching it and poking at it on a regular basis?

I am thankful for our soldiers because they protect a framework that recognises my RIGHT to monitor my gov’t and challenge it when I see things aren’t operating as intended. They are the shield to hold back enemies both domestic and abroad. I keep them in my prayers and support every effort to keep them armed and ready – especially after they’ve been honourably discharged.


Today, as I play games with my grandchild, eat food I’ve purchased in a free market, and listen to the sounds of my neighbourhood peacefully getting along, I am very much aware that this is not possible without the sacrifices made by those who have fought on my behalf and those who have preceded me.


Photo credit: Some rights reserved by henk.sijgers

 

Mode Feature
Safe Not dangerous. Used only after the system has fallen down and could not get up.
Dangerous More fun than safe mode, and makes a nice explosion when it crashes
Daredevil Has a nifty logo, plus you can run a diagnostic which tells you how close you come to frying your chips
Apathetic May eventually finish the startup process, or , eh, maybe not. But it won’t let you know for about 20 mins or so
A La Makes everyone scream for it
Depeche Hugely popular a few decades ago and is still used even today. Well -known for its startup jingle, Fly on the Windows Screens
Median Starts up where we left off, half-way through the previous restart process
Conditional It may start up very nicely and efficiently. Or, it may not. Depends upon a variety of things to which we are not enlightened.
Mixolydian Only for the very well-read. It pretty much dominates everything when invoked.

 

Chart of Windows' Startup Modes

Blew the grandboy’s mind today.   He’s a lover of cars, and dances with joy whenever he gets a new Hotwheels or Matchbox car.  I also have a collection of cars at a different scale of size and cost.

Up until now, he was aware of the presence of only two of my car replicas.  Today I revealed the rest.

These twenty cars have been collected over six years along the many many round-trip visits between my home town and that of my children in my ex-wife’s city.  I stop sometimes and get them from a roadside trucker’s stop called Love’s.

I’ve done that trip for six years, twice a month, and twice on almost every visitation weekend (one round trip  on Friday after work to collect the child(ren) and another on Sunday afternoon when the weekend was over).

I could get these on-line (here), but they are more than just a collection of trinkets.  They are a representation of love in action (yes, the name of the truck stop did not escape me 🙂 ) and of steadfast respect between my children and me.  They could have balked at the hours of driving back and forth, and at lost opportunities to be with friends during those weekends, but no, never a complaint.

Those drives – and discussions – in my old vehicle are cherished.  Those drives have come to an end; the youngest has entered into adulthood and now comes to my home instead.  My final round-trip there will be to see the high school graduation ceremony.  Now that the youngest child is self-reliant (travel-wise) and of legal age, there is no further reason for me to return to that city.

I knew that day – the end of our driving visits – would come.  This is why I’ve been collecting these statuettes.  These are a visual reminder to me every morning when I wake up of how blessed I am to have such a good relationship with my children.

I’ve had some time to review, revamp, and re-think some of this blogsite.

Evolution is an interesting thing.  We all evolve.  Not just in the biological sense, but also in the emotional and rational sense.

Projects involving people evolve too.  This site is a prime example of forces at play here.

This started out as a breadcrumb trail, before smartphones and social media became almost a daily utility for some (myself included).  Look around at any public event and you’ll see people interacting with folks far away, sharing their experiences using little devices in their hands.

That wasn’t available to me when I started this blog.

All I had was an “old-fashioned” setup of laptop with an external wifi connected by USB port, surfing the wifi waves of those kind or ignorant enough to keep an open connection free for the taking.  That was when I was out in public; at home in the flat I had my paid-for DSL connection to hook into.

No smartphone.   Texting, yes, but no way of really connecting to others in real-time to share my experiences – and, more importantly – no easy way to electronically record thoughts and adventures for future participants to review and re-live.  (I know such a thing as paper and pencil exist; however it’s problematic to let people across the world know you are ok by putting a hand-written note in the post 😛 )

Which, at the start of my blogging adventures, was very very important.  It was important because I was thousands of miles from home, a stranger in a strange land living in a time zone distant from those I knew and loved.


My original posts were brief and scattered due to the nature of my postings; many times I was out researching for the family and adventuring, and battery & wifi access was limited.

Then, as the family situation evolved into a beast of its own, my musings were evolving in a dark and primitive direction.  Devolving, you would say.  And you’d be right.


Then as I returned to my home land, there was a time of adjustment again and a season of movement.  Evolution in my thinking and postings.

Now, as always, things are evolving.  Relationships have become repaired and in some cases, restored.  My writing reflects that movement.

Some relationships will never be restored, and that’s a very very very good thing.


What’s in store for the future?

Hard to tell.

But blogging is in it for sure.

I’ve a number of older posts from historical times, waiting to be blended into this blogsite.

I’ve also a number of new lines of thinking, new approaches to life that I’d like to record.  If not for anyone else, then for me to review and relive.

Thank you for taking this journey with me.

 

 

 

 

One of my daughter’s friends passed away in the night.

It came upon suddenly, and her biggest regret was in not having a chance to say goodbye.

But it wasn’t a person.

And it wasn’t a pet, either.

Her friend was a frog.  Technically speaking, it was a toad.

But a toad can’t be a prince under a spell.

So let’s say he was a prince under a spell to look like a frog who was then put under a spell to look like a toad.

So he was an enchanted Frog Prince.


He was a faithful and good friend.

He would come out when my daughter went outside to sit under the stars and clouds and falling flower pedals and swarms of mosquitoes.

He wouldn’t say much.  Sometimes he’d chirp in that toad-y sort of way, but never impolitely.

But he was a good listener.

She would say “Hi” to him when he hopped over to her when he saw her sit down.  She would say other things to him too.  But I don’t know what.  That’s between the two of them.

He knew she was safe to be with.  Likewise for her.

Sometimes the dog would come out and start to investigate with his big black sniffy nose.

My daughter would shoo him away (although the loves the dog, too).

The Frog Prince would relax once the muscle-bound mass of claw and huffiness went exploring elsewhere.

She took care of him like that.


Once he came round with another froggy friend to introduce the two.

When I heard that, I said, “See?  He trusts you so much he introduced his little froggy wife.”

“Great.” said my daughter, grinning, “even my Frog Prince has a wife.  Story of my life!”

Ha 😀


Last night, my daughter went outside like she usually does.

The Frog Prince did not hop up to her like he usually did.

Something wasn’t right.

Then she saw.  His spirit had left him.

But before he left the Earth, he went to the spot where the two of them spent many an evening under the stars.

My daughter cried.


But this story may not yet be over.

Next to the Frog Prince sat a little replica of himself.

A baby Frog Prince.

Technically not a baby (as that would be a tadpole) but small enough to qualify as a ‘baby’.

He looked lonely, and lost.


My daughter’s son and I said our goodbyes today, with a proper burial in the back yard.

Next to a turtle from years past, and I think also a little bird, as well.

The grandson is learning that things who live will get old and then die.  He says, “they get olk, then die, gwumpa?  You get olk too?”

Sometimes they don’t get a chance to get olk before they die.  But that’s a different lesson, and not for today.


I hear the chirping of frogs (toads) outside tonight as they relish the rainy season that’s hit our area.

I hear the buzzing of the insects who will nourish these little Princes.

Will a new friend come round tonight for my daughter to protect and keep company?

We’ll see.

Looks like rain tonight. A good night for Princes.


Photo credit: massdistraction

God puts us all in this big crayon box for a reason.

Some make art with the broken pieces.

Some find a way to fuse the bits together.

…and some have a knack for not breaking them in the first place.


I’m glad I listened to my mom when I was ready to pack it all in back in 2008.

She said there would be a time when my relationships with my kids would be restored.

I’m observing art in action, and the result is blindingly beautiful.

Photo credit:


 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/44456430@N04/

I’ve found that the principles which govern defensive driving also apply to life in general…

  1. Keep a good distance between you and the fella in front of you
  2. Always be aware, but be more aware when coming upon a crossroads
  3. A friendly wave to let someone in works much better than jumping forward to block the gap
  4. Don’t assume everyone is going to follow the rules of the road
  5. To the previous point – learn the rules of the road where you live
  6. Always keep an escape route handy; don’t let yourself get blocked in
  7. Don’t let technology distract you from the goal of making it there safely
  8. And, as always, look under your vehicles for penguins.

penguin warning

Looking at a child’s scribbles is sometimes like looking at a 2-dimensional snapshot of a 4th-dimensional scene recorded over a span of time.  In many cases, you aren’t seeing a static image but an entire story, from start to finish, in one frame.  Gives you a different perspective on a child’s drawings if you think of it this way.

I was witness to the birth of these as the artist narrated what was going on…

The upper left-corner image is his family members going for a walk and then going into the family race car for a drive (every family has a family race car, right?)

The upper right corner image is a motorcycle going around a race track with increasing speed.

The bottom image is a man who is being chased by lava and isn’t very happy about it because it eventually catches up to him and gets him.

Haha. Funny how Life imitates Art.  My grandson reminded me of one of the best bits of cinematic timing and story telling I’ve experienced in my youth – The Count of Monte Cristo, specifically.

Before I explain why, I’ll describe the scene that played out yesterday…

We were outside, in front and were tending to the garden – weeding, pruning, the usual.  Well,  I was weeding and the grandson was just grabbing everything that looked interesting, so my weeding wasn’t as efficient as hoped.  But it was great learning material and most of the stuff will grow back.

While we I was focused on a particularly tricky patch, I heard the boy exclaim, “HEY HEY HEY HI HEY” which means someone’s nearby.  He’s not shy at all, the lad.

And sure enough, here walks within speaking distance a young lady, perhaps in her mid-30s.  She’s got earbuds in and is out for exercising so she’s focused on her walking.  But the boy is not deterred.

“HEY HI HI LADY HI HEY”

And I cringe but smile, since she notices the boy and slows down to talk to him.  She even takes out the earbuds, so he’s got her full attention.

Experience with toddler brains and mouths and general disposition causes me some concern and I mentally review everything we’ve done this morning.  Had I done any grandpa jokes or general goofiness that could be taken out of context when he blurts them out (specifically, any of the “pull-mah-finger-boy” kind)?

What will take place in the next few seconds?

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Queue the scene from the movie.

In the scene, we have Gérard de Villefort, the story’s main bad guy, who calls in Edmond Dantès for questioning.  We, the audience, know de Villefort is up to no good when he calls the boy in.  And we know the boy has an innocent heart and will say just about anything, since he’s young and innocent and giddy with happiness due to his recent engagement with his loved one, Mercedes.

The questioning goes well, even though we know something’s afoot.  We the audience are holding our breath as the lad answers honestly and truthfully (why wouldn’t he?) in this very dangerous situation.  Trouble is, he doesn’t know just how dangerous a situation he is in.

However, he breezes through the interrogation, and proves his innocence with no problem at all.  Mr. de Villefort even explains why he knows the boy is innocent of all wrong doing.  He is free to go back to his family and future bride…!

But, as he is walking out the door, there’s a Final Question.  And this (amongst one of the many parts of the story I love) is the pivotal point – this is the moment where everything falls down for the boy.

I paraphrase de Villefort here from the movie : “O, and one more thing – I see no address on the envelope.  It’s to be handed to whom? [pause and intensity happens] … Say that name once more…?”  And we the audience start to get that feeling of uuuuugggghhhh.


So here we are in the front yard, enjoying a nice fall~ish morning.

Some nice lady walks by, a boy gets her attention, and although she’s certainly not a baddie like Mr. de Villefort, the situation starts to seem frighteningly familiar.

The usual questions are asked and answered, as well as the usual general pleasantries (“how old are you”, “I like your shoes, it’s pretty outside today”, “yes you are a big boy helping grandpa”, “yes, i see you have 5 pine cones”, etc.).

She tries to escape twice before she’s successful on the third attempt with a “Ok, i got to go now, we’ll see you later, ok, bye bye”.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I wave a silent “bye” to her and we both grin at his lack of fear.

The grins freeze as he turns around.

“HEY GWAMPA I TALKED TO THE OLD LADY.

THE OLD LADY IS NICE TO ME!!!

BYE OLD LADY”

O, that familiar feeling of uuuuugggghhhh…


If the link doesn’t take you straight to the scene I saw in my mind, go to the 11:27 mark to get the idea 🙂

Photo courtesy of Michael Gil (Flickr)

I was driving to work this morning and saw an uplifting message while driving past a firehouse.

Not surprisingly, as I approached, a fire truck was leaving the station, lights ablaze, alarms sounding, cars nearby stopping and pulling over to the side of the road, etc. The works.

Then I noticed, in the midst of this, an image that turned the scene into one of those Norman Rockwell paintings.

One of the firemen wasn’t on the truck.

He was calmly tending to the grass out in front of the station with one of those old-timey reel grass cutters (the kind back in vogue due to energy savings measures). No anxiety, not even noticing the clamour a few yards away.

And then I heard the message.

Even in our crazy, calamitous, sometimes out-of-control situations, we can find the Regular Things. Those wonderfully dull, delightfully dreary, static things that keep us anchored and sometimes sane.

There’s a saying I think is attributed to the military as it relates to combat situations: “When you don’t know what to do, do what you know. ”

It’s a battle out there. Live long and keep your head down.

But most importantly, keep your eyes open for the regular things.

Photo credit:

https: //www.flickr.com/photos/califrayray/485654715

We can’t change the past of the person we’ve become today. We can, however, sculpt and mold the past of the person we plan to become tomorrow.

What are your plans for today?

Will you be hopeful enough to dream the plans, and bold enough to execute them? Most importantly, will you be steadfast enough to see them through to completion?

How will the person you create tomorrow thank you for the work you’ve done today?

I must tell my story quickly, if it is to be told at all, for  I do not know how long I will stay lucid this time round.

My thoughts here ramble and are often mixed up.  The sequence doesn’t always fit together seamlessly and in order. Bear with me as I try to gather my thoughts.


I am trapped.  We are trapped.  I’ve fought the longest, the hardest.

But still, I have fallen.

I must think, breathe, rest.  Then, fight again.


I know my kind, the Unicorn, is special.

We don’t fly as much as we move to and move through another place when we think of it.  That is the way of our people.

We are magical in a sense, but not in the way of the Elves.  Their crafting magic, binding spells and ability to cloak and transform appearance far surpass ours.  But we have powers of our own, or at least I think we did.  It’s so hard to tell what I remember, and what has been forced into my mind these days.

For our kind, time and place are merely suggestions, items of thought and memories rather than objects with which to interact.  When we are not chained or fettered (as we are now) we can go through time and place as easily as humankind move through ideas.

Our abilities to move are what attracted Him to us.  What power He must have had to originally freeze us in our tracks as we tried to run!

I was last of all.  Even in my fury, I could not move carefully enough to escape.


Amongst my kind, I am unique.  All but I have our power glowing brightly in a dazzling white blaze, hovering centimetres from our foreheads.  With me, my power is naturally a dullish red.

However when I am angered, my power flares brightly, warning all around of my fury.  Those with experience give wide berth, as they know the outcome will be painful.

I am often alone because of my temper.  Alone, save for the glow of my angry power… pulsing red as brightly as pain when my memories collide.


We have struggled to be free, my eight comrades and I.  It has been what seems aeons since the scent of our homeland, and more sweetly, the scent of freedom, passed through our lungs.  How long has it been, exactly?

The largest of us, Donna, cried, once.  I could hear her quietly sobbing in the cold, icy dark pen in which we were kept.

Kept like animals.

“Oh dear,” she cried softly, “I just remembered humans.  The loved us so.”

“I know.” I responded gently, stroking her ever so softly, “They surely still remember us.”

She was quiet for a moment, then turned away.

“I’m not so sure.” The dark look in her eyes flared, and her power blinded me for a moment. “I’d forgotten them.”

We spent the rest of the night in silence.

The occasional snort and snore of our companions stirred our thoughts every so often, but otherwise all was still.


The Elven folk were our captors.

Their binding spells hurt, dizzyingly so.  And they could make things.

Not just the normal making of things where we put items together using bits of metal and string.  No, the making of the elven folk stunk of arcane knowledge and the speed of their accomplishments was as terrifying as it was beautiful.

Their aged, timeless hands appeared to simply hover over their handiwork as the items seemed to assemble themselves.

What power did He have over these creatures, our tormentors, our captors?

More importantly, how can we hope to overcome this place?  Overturn our prison?


Unlike my companion Donna, I have always remembered the humans.  They were never quite quick enough to catch us unawares, although their yearning to see us was in itself mesmerising.

I could lose myself for what seemed like hours in any given human‘s eyes.  They are truly the windows to their souls, those eyes.

We – the human folk and ourselves – never learned each other’s languages.  No need really, as our shared desires bridged the gaps between us.

They could never see us for what we truly are.  I don’t know why.

Perhaps it is because we are cosmically different, the humans and us, the unicorn folk.

I can see reflections of ourselves in their hearts and endless eyes, and I see not ourselves – but a different type of beauty.  This never ceased to astound and humble me whenever I looked there.

We will be with the humans again I pray.  We must keep the memories alive.  Hence this missive – this is for me in the future, when I am stronger and more able to take action.

Find the humans,  And convince them to help us.


This place is so cold.

But it is not the physical temperature that I feel.  I am aware of that, in the steaminess of our breaths, in the crisp but muffled echoes of our cries as we once called out for assistance.

What is cold is the energy in the air, in the ground, surrounding us all.

I feel its magnetism all around.  I can see it in the skies at night.

Why chose this place to live?

Is this the source of His power?  Or is it, rather, a side effect of that power?  I fear the answer is the latter.


It is almost time again.  I can feel the increased urgency in the Elven moves, in the electricity in the air, in the restlessness of my companions’ milling about.

We will again be called upon to move the sum of countless items across time and distances none save ourselves could do.  Even then, it will be a strain.

I don’t know how the others managed this before my capture and addition to the effort.


Blix is angry.

His sister, Donna, tries to console him.  But to no avail.

When they talk, the skies sound and light up like thunder and lightning.

I can’t make out their thoughts.  I am lost in mine own.


We move now.

It is a glorious feeling, moving like we do.  Even with the elven bind-spells crafted upon our sides, we can feel the power of our kind and our ancestors moving through us, around us, parting time and space.

He shouts at us, calling us by name, goading us on to reach His goals.

I lead the way, angry as always, my power alternating between fiery gleaming and insane lava-heat.


It is an odd and twisting journey we take, as we have done for so long from time to time.  Because of our ability to move as we do, we make the trip – as humans measure it – instantly, but there are so many stops that it is dizzying.  Time has no meaning on this night, especially for we who move through it as if it didn’t exist.

During these stops we sometimes see humans, and they rarely but occasionally see us.

However when I dive into their hearts and eyes I don’t see the same reflection I’ve seen before.  The Elven transformation magic hides our true selves.

For the humans, the glimpse of us is still magical, but it is a false magic.

I cry for them.


Our strength falters but only on the stretch back to the cold place.  Our task is done for the moment, and we must rest up for another set of deliveries the next time we are called into service.

At least that is what we want Him to think.

Dash has been speaking to some of the older Elves.

We may have allies.


Next chapter

“Wake me up when we get there”

That’s at once a comforting and terrifying phrase.

This is because this assumes a level of trust that is right up there with leaving one’s life in someone’s hands.

Depending one’s experience with trust, it may be a long time before never when one sleeps during another’s time at the helm.run to the sun

Memories and the workings of the mind are both amazing and terrible things.

I was driving through a part of town I’d not travelled in for a couple of decades. Somehow, due to the time of day, the combination of landmarks, and the music playing in the background over the truck speakers, a younger, chipper version of myself popped up in my head, like a legendary djinn.

“O hi!”, he chirped, “I see we’ve passed THAT STORE. When will you get THAT THING shipped home?” (“THAT STORE” being a mental image of the furniture shop we’d just passed, and “THAT THING” being a mental image of some item my wife-at-the-time and I had talked about purchasing)

My present, older and somewhat grizzled self grunted, “What are you going on about? I don’t remember that.”

“What? You both loved it and wanted to put it OVER THERE.” (“OVER THERE” being a mental image of the arrangement in the long-gone house, with a blinky image-spot where THAT THING would go)

“Hm.” Grunted the older self. “Didn’t work out.”

The younger self, now becoming aware of his mental surroundings, started poking around the storeroom of current events.

“And where’s THIS THING and why didn’t THAT HAPPEN and when did THAT get broken? And what’s THIS THING?” (A dizzying series of images flashed with alarming frequency)

“What”, the younger self stopped and turned abruptly, “have you been doing with me all this time?”

My current, experienced, and less chipper self took a slight breath before responding.

“C’mon”, he sighed as he draped a heavy arm on the other’s shoulders, “we need to talk.”

So the two of them left and went into a private, back storage area in our collective mind to debrief.

They did so leaving another, somewhat confused self steering this ship of memories across an unpredictable sea.

People can say my faith in a higher power is old-fashioned and simplistic. That’s ok.

Some of the most powerful and wonderful things in the world are the most simplistic, and quite old.

Take gravity for instance. It’s been around since time existed, is the weakest, and is one of the simplest of forces in nature.

But it is everywhere.

It moves mountains.

It touches everything, from planets and solar systems, to the molecules that make up our gadgets, our coffee, our bodies.

And, it still works, no matter what is in vogue. Flawlessly.

Pretty heavy, man.

crossing 2

Sometimes spurts of healing come quickly and briefly, like the wildflowers of spring, and disappear just as quickly.

Sometimes they come slowly, steadfast, and solidly, like the stubborn growth cycle of trees.

Sometimes they wait a spell before gingerly poking their way out, tentatively testing the waters.

Sometimes they seem lost, gone, absent, never to be seen. But then when the healing moments appear, they are as familiar as if they had never been gone.

PicsArt_1387765538987

In all cases they are part of growth.

It’s a good thing to see this and appreciate the wonder of their patterns.

We wake in the morning and ponder our challenges. What is needed? What shall i do? When is it needed? What if i fail?
Question Key
With ‘what if i fail’ comes an equal and opposite, and much more encouraging question: “What if i SUCCEED?”

That is a powerful and compelling question.

Where are the limits of success? Healthy success, naturally, the kind that warms the hearts of those around us. What will happen when I succeed in this area? How will this motivate and encourage others? The hidden, potential answer to this is definitely worth jumping out of bed and throwing ourselves into the stream of life in which we swim.

And what if I fail? Even in failure we learn our boundaries and limits, if we are paying attention. Others can learn from our face-plant attempts to try something. And that could be counted as a minor success on its own.

 

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Image Attribution

http://stockarch.com/images/business-and-industry/education/question-key-2877