…and, BANANAS!

Grandboy: I sure like my outside clothes.

Me: Why is that?

Grandboy: Well, it’s because, ’cause, because i can go outside and PLAY and i can RUN and they are COOL and, and, BANANAS! [runs away]

I love that closing argument. I should try it at my next business analysis meeting.


Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Furryscaly 




Driving me batty

Ah the advantages of having an alter ego.

Grandboy did his nighttime routine when momma’s at work… Toilet, teeth, story, prayers, etc.

I’d wondered why he donned his Batman mask half-way through. I didn’t have to wonder for long.

“Gwumpa i need to go potty.” [smiles]

I did the grandfatherly grunt. “But you already went.”

“No i didn’t. I Batman. BATMAN have to go potty now…”

He’s got at least three old halloween getups. Could be a long night 😀


Photo credit: Some rights reserved by boskizzi 




Awesome sauce

Where does this kid get his input?

I made a comment about something and his response was,

“That’s awesome sauce, gwumpa”


Photo credit: Some rights reserved by lincolnblues

 




Box thinking

Sometimes scribble-scrabble (thinking outside the box) is called for and sometimes it’s not. It all depends on the situation




Brainus gigantus

“Gwumpa I sorry i sneak out and eat cupcakes when you were sleeping.”

“Why did you sneak out? You know you aren’t supposed to sneak while everyone’s sleeping. That can be a problem.”

“I know gwumpa it’s just that my brain my big brain keeps telling me to think about cupcakes and i don’t know how to stop it.”

O the dangers of a big brain


Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Global X 




Leaping, then looking

The grandboy, coming up with a failed reason to delay the inevitable:

“But gwumpa i no need to clean my room.” [thinks] “I know! I will clean it on Sunday.”

“But today IS Sunday.”

“Oh.”

Lesson learned today about researching before committing to action…


Photo credit: Some rights reserved by skagman 




Here, have a baton

The passing on of family traditions and lines of thought is so important. Today the grandboy was pretending to be a shark.

“You afwaid, you afwaid of me gwumpa?”

Playing along, i said yes, i was afraid.

I recognized the gleam in his eye as he saw I had fallen into his trap.

“NICE TO MEET YOU, AFWAID! I IS A SHARK”

Hehehe well played, youngun, well played


Photo credit: tableatny 




Guidance from the maddest men of all

Breakfast.

Little one, being a little stubborn.

“NO Gwumpa, no want food for breakfast.”

I offer a single bit of cereal. “Here, I got a new type (it really was a new type, I wasn’t lying).  Try this out and see if you like it.  You don’t have to eat the whole bowl.  I’m just testing to see if you like this new one.”

[nom]

I walk away.

The little one pipes up. “HEY GWUMPA I LIKE IT.  I can have more?  With milk in it?”

The gods of Madison Avenue were smiling.




A Spidermanhelperguywholikesto…, by any other name, is still a Spidermanhelperguywholikesto…

I can see where surnames like ‘Smith’, ‘Baker’, and ‘Carpenter’ came about.

I’d asked the grandboy what is the name of his little helper and the answer was along the lines of,

“He, he, he don’t have a name.  O wait. Yes. His name is ‘SpidermanHelperGuyWhoLikesToWearABrownBeltButHesNotWearingItToday’.”




Sticky situation

The grandboy found that the adhesive properties of claydoh (as he calls it) have unexpected advantages.  To him of course, not his peeps.

 




A smashing concept

The grandboy and I are discussing physics.  Gravity and mass, specifically.  He conceptually understands that mass attracts mass and that’s what makes things fall and stuff.

He also knows that everything has mass (we’ll go into the neutrino debate later on, once I study up on that).

The tree has mass.  The ball has mass.  The dog has mass.  His head has mass.  Etc.

So what does he say when he jumps on a stick and breaks it?

“I don’t have mass today, gwumpa.  Today I have SMASH.”


Photo credit: Attribution Some rights reserved by Gwyrosydd




What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine

“No, gwumpa,” chirped a small voice as I poured a cup of juice, “I don’t want juice please.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow, “well, it’s not for you.”

[three, two, one…],

“…but you can have some of mine maybe…”

“Ah yes please!  Want your juice.”

—–

A little mental elbow grease sometimes gets things moving along.

 

 

Photo credit: Eyelashes of a Blue Skinned God

 

 




Not a cup gwumpa

I made the mistake of picking up some cups that were embedded in the grandboy’s collection of toys.

“No don’t please don’t pick it up.”

“I need to pick up the cups so we can wash them.”

“Not a cup gwumpa.” [looks at my hand] “That’s a freeze chamber. Need freeze chamber to stop bad guys gwumpa.”

 

 




Spiderboy

A breathless grandboy came running up to me, wiping his face.

“GWUMPA gwumpa hey gwumpa look hey gwumpa gwumpa AAGH hey”

“Hm. What’s the problem?”

“Gwumpa i ran into spider web. Spider web on my face.  Look see see look spider web on my face!  Spider web.”

[looking] “I don’t see it.  I think you got it all off.”

“I don’t like spiders.  Gwumpa go kill it.”

“No he’s fine.  He was outside.  You walked into HIS house.  He should be mad at YOU.”

[he doesn’t buy the argument, crosses his arms] “Hmph.  Don’t like spiders”

“Spiders outside are good.  They eat mosquitoes and bugs and stuff.  Just watch where you are walking and you both will be ok.”

“Ok but he don’t come into MY house gwumpa”

“Good plan, sir.  I like that.”


 

photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/olibac/




Pretend to chase me

Gwumpa chase me chase me chase me GWUMPA CHASE MEEEEE

[hmph]

Ok gwumpa it’s ok just PRETEND to chase me, ok?

[runs]

HAHAHAHA WEEEEE

 




Penalty on the calvinball play

I was chasing the grandboy around the couch to get the little nerf football from him.  He had just got back from visiting with his uncle who is an American football fan, so he is in sports mode now.

As we were racing around the couch he pulls out a pretend handgun and shoots me down and then does a little dance.

I throw a red flag on the play.  Everyone knows grandstanding is unsportsmanlike.