As I was typing that last post, the grandboy managed to flip backwards off the couch. He lives in a self-imposed danger zone 24/7, it seems

Photo credit: Some rights reserved by CzechR

The grandboy learned one of the most dangerous phrases in his life: “Calm down, calm down, girl” (along with the hand gestures).

That ranks right up there with, “That spanking didn’t hurt, mom”

Whoever taught him that is the debbil

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Some rights reserved by marinda.fowler | photography

Gwumpa who who who is Jerry? You say you have Jerry duty. Why Jerry make you do things?

Gwumpa the guy I know, he’s he’s like a big person he’s (holds up two outstretched jazz hands) like SEVEN years old he’s almost a growed up

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Some rights reserved by blueiii

The grandboy learned a fine lesson in irony this evening.

He was watching a video of Humpty Dumpy and while laughing at it he turned to show me what was so funny.

Sure enough he lost his balance and flipped off the chair.

I asked him if he was showing me how to do the Humpty Dance. He was not amused.

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Some rights reserved by WaveCult (luis.m.justino)

Use the word “Alsoly” in a sentence.

“Gwumpa, i drawed a picture of a GARBAGE TWUCK and a RACE CAR and and and ALSOLY, a ninja turtle.

Here you go they are yours now. Keep them forever.”

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Some rights reserved by docoverachiever

Grandboy: I sorry I drew on things. I can have my markers back now? I neeeeed to color my pictures.

Me: I don’t know where your markers went. That’s between you and your momma.

Mamasan: Use your crayons.

Grandboy: Gwumpa, I can have my legos now? I pick them up I promise.

Me: You tell your momma. You left them out and that’s why they’re put up. I’m not part of that 🙂

Mamasan: [looks at the boy]

Grandboy: I go color with my crayons now.

The balance of power has been established and maintained. All is well with the world.

Grandboy, after stealing all my white pillows and arranging them on the white bed cover:

“Gwumpa, I make a EGGloo to live in. See my EGGloo? Know why it’s a EGGloo?

Because my penguins live in it and they lay EGGS.

EGGS, Gwumpa.EGGS.”

GWUMPA. You hugging me too hard, you squishing me and I gonna pop.

You want me to POP, GWUMPA?

Just heard the saddest comment.

Some fella said something like, “if I leave early (from work) all I’ll be doing is pushing the kids on swings, grumble grumble grumble.”

I can’t even start to explain to him how precious a gift this is, especially considering the alternatives I’ve lived through, and many alternatives I’ve been blessed to be prevented from experiencing.

He’ll learn soon enough tho

The grandboy is excited. Mamasan is taking him to the beach where he can find SKI SHELLS and maybe some SNEE SNAILS

Taught the grandboy some techniques on washing dishes by hand.

Used far too much soap and water but it’s an investment for future visits at gwumpa’s place…

“Gwumpa, you know why we have planets? So we can have a PLACE to put our STUFF.

Awwwe. I’d miss mommy if we didn’t have a PLANET.

And bathtubs.

O and the grass… and MOTORCYCLES!

We need a planet, gwumpa.”

Grandboy, to mamasan: “Momma, after school tomorrow, when you pick me up, you can get me a baby brudder?”

If you’re ever wondering how quantum physics and children (particularly grandchildren) are alike, consider this:

1. You can measure where the child is, or how quickly he or she is running around the house, but never both at the same time.
2. Given the amount of time the child enters a room and the time an object is broken or a cookie jar in a different location is opened, you can only conclude the child was at both places at the same time.
3. You don’t know if the child is awake or asleep at naptime until you open the door to find out.
4. Observing the child alters his or her behaviour (see previous point).
5. When the child falls down and skins his or her knee, your heart hurts instantly, regardless of distance.  That’s very spooky.
6. A child’s state is passionately happy, sad, angry, hungry, you name it.  But this is always compartmentalised, and never anything in between.
7. Watching the child play with others (especially in a large group) leads to the conclusion that the individual child has particle properties as he or she asserts his or her self.  But the child also has wave properties as he or she disappears in the crowd and reappears at will.
8. The smaller the child is, the more uncertainty you encounter.  However at the macro level, uncertainty is never removed.

Photo credit: Some rights reserved by erix!

The sunlight pokes its fingers through the blinds as the grandboy tigger-bounces into the bedroom.

“GWUMPA gwumpa wot you doin? Wot you doing gwumpa?”

“Sleeping.”

“WHY?  The sun is up time to get up.  Wot you doing gwumpa?”

“Lying in bed, boy, lying in bed.”

“A LION?!?!?” he misunderstands on purpose, “Quick HIDE hide gwumpa!!” [jumps onto the bed and scrambles under the covers, elbows and knees strategically finding their way in all my soft spots]

“SHHHHHH” he shushes at the top of his whisper voice.

Quiet.

More quiet.

Then, a little hand pokes out from under the blanket, and i hear a muffled, “wrrunnn”.

‘What?” I pull up the blanket.

“I SAAIIIDDD, I need a wrench.”

“Why do you need a wrench?”  and hand him an imaginary wrench.

“SHHHH.” He scoots back under the blanket.

Another tiny hand pokes out, and a shouty voice, “SCREWDRIVER!”

I hand him a screwdriver.

Again the hand and voice, “ANOTHER KIND OF SCREWDRIVER!”

I lift the blanket and ask, “Sooo what happened to the lion?”

“GWUMPA.” pulls the blanket back on himself but not all the way, “You can’t drive away from the lion in a bwoken jeep.  I fixing the jeep but be quiet or the lion eat you.”

And so the day begins 😀

Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Tambako the Jaguar