Me (singing, loudly): I LIKE TO SING. I LIKE TO SING AT SCHOOOOOL

Grandboy: Gwumpa. We DON’T sing at school

Me: WHAT? You should always sing at school

Grandboy: No gwumpa. No singing at school.

Me: Well that’s too bad. Singing at school is a good thing.

Grandboy (later, drawing on paper, and singing to himself): i like to sing… i like to sing at schoooool

Mamasan and grandboy went to a public outing downtown to participate with the hundreds of other parents and children taking part in Halloween festivities.

Unfortunately, amongst the swarm of zombie, slasher and fake-blood-stained children’s outfits, his outfit was met with other children shouting at him and parents who questioned mamasan’s judgement.

Not everyone there was in “horror theme” mode but those were the ones who’d react negatively to his choice.

So what was this terrible outfit that would make even the most killer of clowns recoil?

He dressed up as a police officer.

Being five years old, he has no clue about social media videos and posts, the reports of controversy on both sides of the thin blue line. The idea of corruption in the police force is as weird to him as rocks that float on water.

All he knows is 1) people choose to do bad things to others and 2) some people stop those folks and warn them or take them away to stop them from harming others.

He admires that ability, and to him, these are real-life superheroes. After all, isn’t that the essence of a superhero? Stop the bad guy and save others?

Mamasan didn’t think about the potential for conflict either. She simply wanted to encourage his love for what is true and honest and helpful.

All went well in the end. Litteun had no clue that there was an undertone to the “stop don’t shoot! my hands are in the air” catcalls and simply played along with them. Mamasan focused on the boy’s joy, and not on the stinkeye stares and comments by other “offended” parents.

She was keenly aware, however, that her son was in the distinct minority in that there were no other support-role outfits to be seen. No soldiers, doctors, firefighters, police officers, etc. I told her to keep on fighting the good fight. We can’t save the world on our own, but we can change the life of those who interact with us. Perhaps if each of us works our little garden patch well, we’ll start seeing these support roles becoming en vogue again.

Grandboy (Exasperated, looking out the window): Gwumpa why is the sun not up?

Me: Dunno

Grandboy: It’s 6:02. 6:02 gwumpa. (Looks out the window again) Sun is STILL not up. You said I can climb up in the attic in the morning. It’s morning. And chocolate ice cream for breakfast. I’m hungry can I eat my ice cream in the attic now?

O boy mamasan’s gonna get me for this one

Hi Mom, Dad, guess what a certain grandboy told his mamasan about not wanting to go to school?

“But mom, I don’t NEED to go to school. I already know how to read words and how to count.”

Sound familiar? Hehe. She’s in for a fun ride 🙂

Grandboy experienced his first taste of being bullied yesterday on the bus.

Mamasan’s first reactions as she wiped his tears when he got off the vehicle were 1) climb onto the bus and rattle the bully’s cage (literally) and 2) drive the grandboy to school and back until she lands her full-time day job.

Well, #1 didn’t happen only because the bus driver sagely took off before Angry Mama Tigress launched herself into the fray.

I don’t think #2 will happen because I gave her some experience (not advice) of my own. The boy needs to learn how to deal with bullies straight away. He may not want to face the older boy but he needs to do so, on his own two feet, eventually.

He’s ok altering his own behaviour – maybe sitting elsewhere and choosing a group of kids who are less troublesome – but he ultimately needs to learn not to blink or back down if he’s done nothing wrong.

Mostly he needs to learn, early on, that invoking the wrath of mamasan is a carefully-calculated event, almost a nuclear option actually.  I’ve seen her in action, first-hand, and I almost feel sorry for anyone who pulls that lever. The key word here being “almost”…

This is an awesome article.

This is also why the Grandboy and Mamasan will never be named in my posts.

cwell.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/07/29/why-i-decided-to-stop-writing-about-my-children

New Chapter starts in our Gwumpa Stories.

Featured are Moving Tape, Boxes, and Some Driving Hours

Also starring Some Tears and Many Hugs

Go young Mamasan. Give that boy a life deserving of his awesomeness.

Give him Big Dreams, but equally importantly, the Big Knowledge of how to make those dreams a reality.

Grandboy (shuffling into the dimly-lit room): Gwumpa it’s time to get up

Me: Still dark boy

Grandboy (sighs): Gwumpa are we gonna have a DISCUSSION about this?

Me: Yep let’s discuss this. Come cuddle while we discuss.

[I walk into the room, where mamasan is making dramatic, slow-motion sweeping movements as she walks towards the kitchen table]

Me (thinking): Sure, why not? [I start moving in slow motion with overly-exaggerated movements]

Grandboy: Gwumpa we’re SLOTHS! We all SLOTHS in HERE

Me (speaking in low, drawn-out speech): OOOOkayyyy O nooooo I’mmmm falllll [pretends to fall in slow motion]

Calvin and Hobbes never had it so good

Grandboy (shuffling in at daybreak): Gwumpa time to wake up

Me: Still dark, boy

Grandboy (lifting the blinds a little): I see sunlight out there

Me: No sunlight in here. Come cuddle

Grandboy (climbing all over me): When’s the sun waking up all the way Gwumpa?

Me: Tomorrow

Grandboy (shocked): No Gwumpa. Sun wakes up every day. So do you. Come on wake up

And so starts another day in Gwumpa Boot camp, haha

Me: Hey you know why this (points to a picture) is called a dinosaur?

Grandboy: Why Gwumpa?

Me: ‘Cuz they’re dead. See? DIEnosaur.

Grandboy: Yah! They DIEnosaurs

Me: And if they were still alive they’d be LIVEasaurs

Grandboy: NO STAAAP

Me: Hey where’s my hug? I didn’t get one

Grandboy (backing away): Gwumpa no you got weak soldiers in you I’ll be weak if they come over and I can’t fight when the bad guys come in the house.

Me: Yep you’re right, I’m still weak

Grandboy: Mama got strong soldiers she protect us when you get weak.

Castle Doctrine student in training here.

Grandboy (looking over my shoulder as I am on my smartphone):Gwumpa wat game you playin?

Me: No game. Look.

Grandboy (nodding sagely): OOOH that’s because you’re OLK and OLK people don’t do fun things. Only little KIDS play games on phones.

Me (still reading): Yep, that’s how it works.

Grandboy: And when I get OLK I will do BORING things too but right now I’m just a kid and I can (starts dancing and spinning)

Me (watches him dance and bounce)

Grandboy (eventually stopping, then looks over at my phone): Gwumpa wat game you playin?

Shhhh… Short Attention Span Theatre in progress

Grandboy (quietly giggling and whispering is his raspy voice): hey gwumpa you can’t find me

gwumpa over here can’t find me (giggle)

hey look for me

Me: I can’t find you ‘cuz I ain’t lookin’ for ya.

Grandboy (stands up): GWUMPA

Hehe gotta know how to flush them out of the bushes

Told the grandboy that if he didn’t behave well on our outing, we’d go eat at Cow-fil-a.

That’s where cows poke little boys with sticks and eat THEM, instead of the other way round. Seems to be working.

Sometimes medieval approaches work moderately well…

Ok, so it’s very important to brush your teeth before licking your loved ones’ faces…

It’s important to teach the grandboy some etiquette