Gwumpa Stories

Blew the grandboy’s mind today.

He was pretending to be flying in his space craft and landed on a planet. Announced that he’s landed safely.

I asked him how he feels being a space alien.

He replies, “No gwumpa I not alien. I’m exploring in space.”

To which I respond, “I know you’re exploring. But you aren’t on your home planet any more.

You’re on someone else’s planet and came from space. So you are now a space alien.”

So he thinks.

And thinks some more.

And does the arm-waving, eye-rolling, walking weirdly thing…”woooogh I’mmmmm aaaa spaaaaacccccee aiiiilieeeeennnn”

Labels do funny things to the human psyche 😉

At 6:28 on a holiday weekend morning, the only thing that grandboy should be TRANSFORRRRRMING into is a quiet, sleeping child… :p

The grandboy has been in the “repeat what I say mode” – meaning that he keeps saying the same thing over and over until you repeat the last few words he’s said.

And now he’s combining this with his “question mode”.

“Gwumpa, gwumpa look I put a towel on my head! Look, i put a towel on my head. Gwumpa a towel on my head. GWUMPA”

Me: “O look, a towel is on your head.”

“Why gwumpa? Why towel on my head? WHY? Why towel on my head?”

Me: “I don’t know, why is a towel on your head?”

“HAHA” (and runs away)

Now I’ll never know why the towel was on his head. I suspect he was just trolling me.

“No, don’t lick people. It’s not polite to lick people.”

To whom am I am speaking?

1. A prime minister or elected official

2. My neighbor’s dog

3. My 4-yr old grandson

Me, gently teasing the grandboy after he decided to race me (while I was walking) and did a chest-plant on the grass:

“Hey boy, why you fallin down like that? What are you doin down there?”

Littleun, in true form: “Ha gwumpa I fall because I run fast. You can’t fall down because you swooooow”

And then, the final victory dance: “Na nanny boo-boo…”

The grandboy is able to take off his t shirt completely by pulling it down all the way past his shoulders and hips.

One of the advantages of still having a head wider than both areas 🙂

The grandboy has perfected the simultaneous sadangry face.

He can look like pretty much any character off of the “Thomas the Tank Engine” show when the mood strikes.

I’d snap a pic but depending on the situation, it would either

1) make him angrier or

2) make him smile, since smiling is what you do when a photo is being taken

Mamasan wants littleun to have some music to sleep to and requested a classical music collection to help stimulate his brain as he settles himself in and falls asleep.

I think it’s a good idea as I’ve done that myself.  So we have a little mp3 player with auto shutoff and a couple of hours of randomized selections.

Tonight, littleun has a request, since mamasan’s working.

“Gwumpa.” (Sad face) “gwumpa I want sad music because I miss momma and sad music is in my heart…”

So no John Williams tonight 🙂

Sometimes it’s all in the presentation.

Grandboy was hangry. I offered him a couple of slices of ham and a piece of cheese.

“Ugh, nooooo gwumpa i no want that”

Ok.

I took two pieces of bread and put the same ham and cheese inside them.

“OOO yah that’s what I WANT!”

If for no other reason, i shall always be remembered by the grandboy as the one who taught him how to double-jump.

Now that’s not such a bad thing 😀

Mamasan’s been working nights, so I’ve had a number of babysitting nights recently… here’s another gwumpa story 😀

We’re sitting in the bedroom, finishing up a 2nd nighttime book and the grandboy requests another.

“No sir, we’ve read the two you picked out and it’s time for prayers and sleep now…”

“But gwumpaaaaaa” (as he puts away the books)

He pulls out another fav, a dinosaur book and blinks big eyes at me.

“No sir, but you can read it on your own after we finish. You can read after bedtime.”

“But gwumpa, i don’t even know these things’ names.

Look. This bird. (he points to a dinosaur)

This tree. (He points to dinosaur eggs)

This race car. (He points to a stream).

See? You have to reeead them to me.”

Hm, i think, this is obviously a ploy to stay up later, so we close out the night with a firm but gentle end to the story negotiation.

Then later, when I peek in on him, I find…

the boy on his bed, finger-tracing the words in that book, pretend-reading it out loud.

And he even nailed every dinosaur, egg, and stream in there.

He just wanted his friend-gwumpa to read with him.

He got extra hugs and kisses after that.

The grandboy, trying to convince me to let the family dog sleep with him:

“Gwumpa, i neeeed puppy in here.”

“O? Why do you neeeeed him in here?”

“Look.” (he picks up his (currently) fav toy, a “Jake pirate” doll from “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” cartoon series) “look see? Him not alive.” (picks up the doll, stands it up and it falls over)

“See he can’t stand up. Can’t protect me when bad guys come in the window and take me. Hmph” (crosses arms)

“Him him him not alive i neeeed puppy.”

“Ok. Let’s go see if puppy wants to come in and sleep in here.”

Sad to say the pup wasn’t having any of this. He was cozy on the couch, and chose to pretend neither of us were calling and shouting his name, even when young master was standing in front of him.

I promised the youngun I’d pop in now and again to make sure no bad guys had stolen him.

The grandboy, giving me the reasons why he’s not napping:

“Well, I’m I’m see look I’m (waving hands) not sleeping, see?”

“Yes I noticed that. Why not?”

“It’s well, well I’m not not see (waving hands again), look!” (He points to his eyelids)

“These closing-things, they are stuck open and I can’t close them so that’s why I’m not sleeping (notices the dog) and puppy’s not sleeping and YOU not sleeping and momma’s not sleeping so i can come out now please?

I don’t think Grimm’s Fairy Tales were necessarily written to entertain little children, but I think they may have been written BY them…

The grandboy and I were having a safety discussion after I found he’d unlocked and opened the front door.

This was our debriefing: “Ok now why do you never unlock and open the front door?”

Him: “[Excitedly] Because then the bad mommas come in to the house and and and they eat everyone [sadface] and my momma will be sad.”

Ok, not quite the answer I was looking for but it’ll do, for now ;p