Gwumpa Stories

I’m teaching the grandboy life-savings skills today.

Grandboy (holding something upside-down over his head): Lookit me! Look Gwumpa hey look look at me!)

Me: AAAUGH quick put that down…! Don’t touch that. Don’t even look at it.

Grandboy: What? That’s momma’s purse.

Me: Yep if anything happens or anything is missing you don’t want to be part of that. Put it down to be safe.

Grandboy: No, it’s ok. I be careful (shaking the purse that’s still upside-down over his head)

Me: Boy, you gotta lotta learnin’ to do…

Grandboy: I can have cookie? I’ll ask mom.

Me: No, you got in trouble. You don’t ask for special treats after you get in trouble.

Grandboy: Well, what I do then?

Me: You wait. And don’t go asking mom for a cookie. Please wait til your mom offers you one.

Grandboy: O no, I don’t think that’s a good plan, Gwumpa. (pout)

The grandboy said it’s important to wear pajamas when we sleep because we may wake up and forget to change into school clothes and we’ll end up at school in just our underwear and everyone will point and laugh at us hahaha.

This line of thinking comes early on, apparently 🙂

Grandboy (coming in from the other room): ..ma! Mama. Mom. Mama! MAMA

Mamasan: Yes?

Grandboy: Mom. Ma. Mama. MAAA

Mamasan: Yes, what?

Grandboy: MAMA

Mamasan: WHAT do you WANT?!?

Grandboy: I can have some water?

Mamasan: Ye..

Grandboy: Or some… chocolate milk? (Blink blink) (the blinky effect made more effective because one eye doesn’t close all the way, so he looks like a drunken mess)

— The boy’s got a career in sales, methinks.

Grandboy: Ow I pinched myself with this thing.

Me: O no. It looks ok, no blood. Did you learn something from that?

Grandboy: I be careful.

Me: Yep, sometimes you learn stuff when you get hurt. That’s part of life.

Grandboy: What is ‘life’?

Me: ‘Life’ is everything you’re doing and everything around you. Like coloring, eating, hugging mama,

Grandboy: Getting pinched.

Me: Yep, getting pinched. That’s part of life too. Life is (open arms wide) everything.

Grandboy (breaks into the song): Everything is AWESOME…

Yep. Everything is awesome.

Me: Boy, your room’s a mess. When are you going to clean it up?

Grandboy: Ummm after next week. And then a day.

When Screamo and pre-school meet:

(In a very gravelly, deep voice, almost chant-like, and fist-pumping on every other syllable, starting with the first one)

“NOW I KNOW MY A-BCs

NEXT TIME WON’T YOU SING, WITHME

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

RAAAAUGH I WONDER WHAT TO EAT”

Inside voice, boy, inside voice… and I’m making pasta.

If you listen carefully you can hear the sounds of children learning.

“Gwumpa I got my shoe stuck in the tree on accident”

That’s the sound of a kid learning where not to place his foot as he climbs a tree.

“Gwumpa these are so itchy. Why I kick that thing?”

That’s the sound of a kid learning what happens when you kick a fire ant bed and then stand nearby watching the excitement.

Science is cool. And sometimes itchy

Grandboy: Gwumpa you the boss of mom?

Me: Yep.

Grandboy: And Gwumpa mom is the boss of me?

Me: Yep.

Grandboy: Well then who I the boss of?

Me: Your hands and your feet. Make sure they do good things.

Me: Your room is a mess.

Grandboy: Yes. Why my room is a mess?

Me: You brought stuff in here and left it laying about.

Grandboy: Not me! Maybe a (makes scared face) CREEEATURE sneaked in here and left stuff.

Me: O I know. It was Santa Claus. He’s always sneaking into people’s homes and leaving stuff around.

Grandboy:Yes! Santa Claus messed up my room!

Mamasan is going to have a talk with me soon I think 🙂

Me: Are you eating nicely?

Grandboy: Yes.

Me: No, you’re eating pizza. Haha

The grandboy’s fav superhero is Cap’n ‘Merca because he Cap’n ‘Merca has a he has a shield to protect us from bad guys and we get to see Cap’n ‘Merca fireworks

The grandboy insists on having fish biscuits for lunch.

I have no idea what these would be nor where he got the idea… Maybe fish sticks?

When it’s my time to tuck in the grandboy we start with prayers of thankfulness, then prayers for help.

That puts us in the right state of mind and reminds us that God has provided so much for us already.

Also this tells us that God comes first in our lives before anything we want or need.

That’s not my invention; that pattern was stolen straight from the Lord’s Prayer :p

The best part about Gwumpa Stories is that they are everywhere, ready to be seen by anyone.

We just need to have eyes and ears and hearts ready to catch them 🙂

Grandboy, shouting imperiously, “GWUMPA!!”

Me, wondering what I’d done, “Yessir? What’s up?”

Grandboy, in the same tone, and running from one room, past me and then outside, “ILOVEYOU! GWUMPA I LOVE YOU!”

So far nothing has come chasing him from the other room, so I imagine that was just a bout of excitement that hit him