Mamasan (at the store): Hey I’m picking out the game we’ll buy. I don’t want you to be bored.
Grandboy (smirks): I gettttttt it.
Mamasan: Huh?
Grandboy: You don’t want me to be BORED of the BOARD game. Ha! Good one ma.
Mamasan: Hmph. This is because of your grandpa, isn’t it?
Grandboy: Yep
Thought I’d share this one. It’s a fav around here.
Pour the boiling kettle water in the oatmeal mix, stir and wait.
Grandkids love this stuff. So do I.
Watching the grandboy play online games is a fascinating anthropological treasure trove.
He plays two games online, Battle Minecraft and multiple variants of the “tycoon” games on Roblox. Both have elements of battle and cooperation.
Since I don’t allow headsets or text chat when he plays, he is limited to character behaviour when interacting with others. So he’s learned that jumping up and down repeatedly means “I’m happy with you (or your decision)” and mimicking another’s action generally indicates a desire to form an alliance.
Deciding whether or not to sheath a weapon when approaching someone is very very important as he’s already learned. This is very important because in a given session, it’s vital to identify friend or foe in the first few minutes to avoid being mowed down in the ensuing fray.
In the “tycoon” games, he can play online as long as he wishes in a session, but when the session ends, he loses all items he’s gathered. Kind of like us in real life, hehe. When in a session, anyone can attack anyone else for just the joy of it. Or one can choose to create things and ignore the bullies who pick on newbies who haven’t yet built up defense. Or one can help defend a newbie’s fledgling castle by fighting off attackers, with the hope that the other will help defend one’s place later.
Also like in real life.
All this with only pantomime gestures and observed actions on the behalf of other players. Completely fascinating.
Naturally I encourage the grandboy to go for the “peace and defend” approach, but he does get frustrated by those who don’t “play fair”… and the temptation to treat other newbies equally unfairly is a beast that must be tamed.
Valuable lessons here.
He’s still grasping the concept that there are live people on the other side of the characters he’s interacting with. He’s going to be dealing with this concept for the rest of his life, so I’m thankful to be a guide in this wilderness!
Grandboy: Good morning gwumpa, momma said I could go get kolaches in the morning.
Me: She DID? (yawn) Well get me some too while you’re there.
Grandboy: GWUMPA. No jokes in the morning. It’s too early. Maybe at 3 this afternoon. Or 3:30.
Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK
Me: I see. (looks)
Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she’s gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in.
Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she needs more material sooner than later.
Grandboy: NO GWUMPA, she’s not like that.
Me: O then maybe she’ll give you candy and stuff to make your teeth fall out faster.
Grandboy: NO GWUMPA, she only likes nice clean teeth. That’s why I brush, so she can have nice WALLS on her CASTLE.
Me: And so you don’t have crabby scrabbly mouth, too.
Grandboy: Yah like this (breathes in my face)
Me: Oi boy, enough of that dragon breath. You know, teeth are kind of like old and young men. The young ones get all excited and push the old ones out. But the old ones have to be there first to make way and set up the path for the next ones. (I’m using my hands to help explain tooth movement here)
Grandboy: O wow that’s cool.
Me: Hey think of all the things that tooth has done with you all these years.
Grandboy: O yah, like the time of the FLOOD in the house.
Me: Yep, he was there with you then.
Grandboy: And when we
(we spend about 20 mins reliving memories)
Grandboy: …but you know what Gwumpa? When my tooth goes to the castle, he won’t be lonely. He’ll have the other TWO TEETH that have already gone ahead.
Me: Won’t they be busy holding up the castle wall?
Grandboy: It’s ok, they can take a break. The tooth fairy said it’s ok because they can show him what to do.
Early morning pre-breakfast chats can be good
Grandboy: (Looking at a toy on a game he’s playing) Hey that’s a Pokemon.
Me: A POKEMON?!?! How do you know what a Pokemon is?
Grandboy: Gwumpa. I know what a Pokemon is. I’ve seen Pokemon Go.
Me: Oh. Where did they go?
Grandboy: (shrugs his shoulders) Everywhere. Like a disaster, gwumpa
This passes for modern conversations, haha
I sit next to my boss. I spend a lot of time with my grandson. Sometimes these worlds collide.
Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad.
Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that?
Grandboy: At school. If you point like this (points to the wall, now that I’ve redirected his arm) and say, “Na na na na na” (wiggling his head) then you’ll be a BULLY. And that’s RUDE.
Me: Yep. (We nibble on our chocolate brownies)
Me: So what if the WHOLE CLASS was doing that to someone? Would you do it?
Grandboy: NO. That’s being a bully.
Me: And what if your best friend at school was doing it with them? Would you do it then?
Grandboy (exasperated): BAAAAH! NO GWUMPA. Still bad.
Me: You’d probably talk to your friend to tell him to stop.
Grandboy: Yep to tell him to STOP being BAD and to be a good friend.
(More chocolate brownies are nommed)
Me: So what if the whole class was doing that to a bully?
(pause and think)
Grandboy: Yah, that’s ok.
Me: Why? Then YOU’D be like the bully.
Grandboy: To make the bully STOP. So he knows how it FEELS.
Me: True. He needs to know it hurts to be teased. But maybe also you could TALK to the bully, like you would your friend. You never know, that may make a difference.
Grandboy: Yah. I like that, Gwumpa. I’ll talk to him.
As the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined
Grandboy has spiced up our Candy Land game by introducing Alligators.
Each has a unique number that indicates how many spaces back we go when we land on one and it bites us
Grandboy: Mama, do you know why these (points) are called ‘stairs’?
Mamasan: No, why?
Grandboy: Because you STAIR at them
Mamasan: …
Grandboy: Haha
Mamasan: … Grandboy: 😀
Mamasan: WHERE do you get these from?
Grandboy: Gwumpa
Yay! My legacy shall live on
Grandboy (honking a bicycle horn repeatedly in the house): GWUMPA STOP (HONK) ME I CAN’T STOP (HONK) HONKING THIS (HONK) HORN!!!
Me: You can stop yourself.
Grandboy: NO I (HONK) CAN’T YOU HAVE (HONK) TO STOP ME
Me: Nope. You have to figure it out on your own. Someday I won’t be here to stop you from honking that horn and it’ll be too late for you to learn.
Grandboy: GWUMPA
Me: Figure it out. (Later)
Grandboy: I did it Gwumpa. I’m not honking the horn any more!
Me (takes the horn) (HONK)
Grandboy: GWUMPA
If you’re a parent with a child over the age of six, this is a good broadcast.
If you ARE a child over the age of six, this is an even better broadcast.
https://www.heartlightministries.org/2017/05/adult-child-still-immature
Mamasan phoned me, a little upset and disappointed.
She plans to take the grandboy to an interactive display where the visitors get a glimpse of true poverty.The experience is nowhere near as immersive as actually being in true poverty, but it is as close as a young American mamasan and her boy will get any time soon. At least I pray this is the case.
Her peers in the area haven’t heard of it, and their responses are what is upsetting to young mamasan.
They range from, “Are you sure this is appropriate for your son?” to, “Are you sure he’s going to have fun at this thing?”
Her response is heart-warming to me and give me hope for those of her generation: “H**l yes it’s ENTIRELY appropriate, and this is something he and I NEED to understand.”
Even as young parents, mamasan’s mother and I were pressured into the “but is it FUN?” mindset for kids’ events we chose to take the children to.
We parents aren’t in the business of making sure the kids have “FUN” all the time. Sometimes life’s most important lessons aren’t “FUN” but are needed, nonetheless.
Keep educating, young mamasan. Our kids’ kids should value others’ needs far above their own entertainment.
Mamasan (trying to hold a phone conversation)
Grandboy (won’t stop making noise)
Mamasan (frustrated): ENOUGH!
Grandboy: Hi, yes?
Mamasan (to the person on the phone): Hold on. (To grandboy): What is it?
Grandboy: I am Enough. Nice to meet you. I’m Enough. You said Enough, so here is Enough (puts clean pair of underwear on his head like a cap) reporting for duty!
Mamasan: I blame your grandfather
Mamasan asked the grandboy what he’d wish for if he had three wishes. Knowing his imagination, she was prepared for almost anything.
She was rather surprised by his response, even after she said he had an infinite scope here.
He wanted:
Sounds unimaginative, but in the real world, if you have this, you can do more than you think you can!
Kudos to the both of them
I can tell the grandboy has been studying his minecraftery using online videos…
Me: Hey you should put a lever (American pronunciation) on the block over there.
Grandboy: Gwumpa you mean LEVER (British pronunciation), don’t you?
— Next he’ll be asking for sweetcorn topping on his pizza