Grandboy (looking at his empty bowl): Grandpa, in another multiverse I got another bowl of ice cream…

Me: Hm. Well that version was visiting a grandpa in a different multiverse, too

Grandboy: A while ago a girl at school introduced me to her friend as “her boyfriend”

Me (raised eyebrow): Hmmm?

Grandboy (quickly): But I really wasn’t her boyfriend and said “hey I’m not your boyfriend” and she was like “yah, he’s a friend who is a boy”. Isn’t that weird how boy friend” and “boyfriend” sound so much alike?

Me: Maybe she really wanted you to be her boyfriend…

Grandboy (lightbulb moment): …ooo yahhh and she was testing me to see if I would say yes I AM her boyfriend!

Me: Girls can be tricky

Grandboy: …but can’t trick ME

Me: Well someday you MAY be someone’s boyfriend so you’d better be a good one.

Grandboy: But THAT day wasn’t the day! Whew I barely escaped with my LIFE

Grandboy: Grandpa why are the “best rated” games on Xbox store so violent?

Me: Because…

https://www.windowscentral.com/heres-some-interesting-stats-about-xbox-one-owners-microsoft-shared-partners

Showing the eldest grandboy how to make swans/dragons of different sizes

I’ve learned the eldest grandboy fills quiet spaces with his homemade songs. As a result, I’ve subtly made an increase in quiet spaces effective immediately.

He seems to have absorbed Gene Kelly’s style, so that’s not a bad thing at all.

How did he pick up on Gene Kelly? Well it’s not all punk and EDM over here when I’m working from home!

Grandboy (preparing to take a bath): Grandpa tonight I’m just taking a quick bath. No playing or anything.

Me: Ok

Grandboy: You know how sometimes I play in the bath.

Me: Yep

Grandboy: Just a quick one.

Me: Yep

Grandboy: Not playing so I can get out quickly.

Me: Ok.

Grandboy (running the water and to the Minecraft guys): Ok guys no playing today

Minecraft guys (in unison): YES SIR

Grandboy (singing): No plaaaayinggg

Minecraft guys (singing): We arennnn’t plaaaayinggg

(Sounds of playing ensue)

Grandboy: BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP

Me: What are you doing?

Grandboy: BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP BWAAAP

Me (stares in Texan): …

Grandboy: I’m being an annoying parrot

Me: You’re doing a surprisingly good job.

Grandboy: You’re doing a surprisingly good job.

Me: Huh?

Grandboy: Huh?

Me (catching on): I said nothing.

Grandboy: I said nothing.

(we do this for about 5 iterations)

Me: Would you like a hug?

Grandboy: Would you like a hug?

Me (reaching out)

Grandboy (reaching out)

* Hug *

—- sometimes we need to get to the root of the behavior —–

The eldest grandboy wanted cookies. I introduced him to exercise and to some random algorithm in the process.

So far he’s on the 2nd iteration