Grandboy (breathing hard after performing a one-man show of the equivalent of WWF performed by ninjas on roller blades on my bed): …so now I’ve increased my fighting level to an UNBEATABLE LEVEL.

Me (reading a Terry Pratchett novel): An unbeatable level?

Grandboy: Yah! Like INFINITY OR EVEN MORE

Me: …

Grandboy: O no I can’t be INFINITY LEVEL that’s the strongest thing in the UNIVERSE. What is the next strongest level to infinity, grandpa?

Me: Infinity minus one.

Grandboy: A yes that’s the level I’m at now (tosses himself in the air on his back). Aaaaand ding ding ding now it’s time for the CHALLENGER

Girl on TV: You practiced with HER, not ME.

Boy: I’m sorry, I didn’t think…

Girl (smiling and laughing ): That’s Ok, I was kidding!

Me: O no she wasn’t.

Grandboy: No, she WAS kidding, she SAID SO

Me: O No, that boy will learn soon enough. She ain’t kidding.

Grandboy: O.o

Grandboy (casting a fishing line): Grandpa, I love fishing.

Me: Yep.

Grandboy (casting again): But I’m not catching anything.

Me: Then it wouldn’t be called “fishing”. It would be called “catching”.

Grandboy (Sitting on the floor next to a toy aisle): Hrmph.

Me: No.

Grandboy: But I want a RYAN toyyyyyyy

Me: This is not a discussion we’re having. C’mon, I’ve got the toys I’m getting. Let’s go.

Grandboy: I’m not leaving without a RYAN TOY

Me: Then you aren’t leaving. I am. I’ll be driving down the road heading home and you’ll be sitting on the floor here and eventually we’ll BOTH be in trouble. Is that how you want this day to go? (I walk)

Grandboy (thinking, weighing the options, and knowing I WILL leave him there): Ok.

Me (still walking): …

Grandboy: I hate my life

Me: Ah. Ok. (Puts toys on a shelf) Let’s go. (No anger, just a logical response to a bad scenario. I’m teaching him that discipline can be applied without anger.)

—

Later

Grandboy: Grandpa, you know when I said I hate my life?

Me: Yep.

Grandboy: I know I was just angry and I didn’t mean I hate my life. I was just angry.

Me: Then that’s ok to say. Perfectly ok to be angry. What you do with anger, now that makes the difference.

Grandboy: I should have done something different, huh?

Me: Yep. You’d probably have some stuff now instead of nothing. But you learned something, so that’s not time wasted.