Grandboy: Grandpa, we should all stop using trees. We need trees for OXYGEN

Me: Well, we need to use trees to build things. Stopping all use of trees isn’t practical.

Grandboy: Maybe scientists can come up with a way to make MORE TREES. Then we’d replace the ones we use.

Me (raising an eyebrow)

Grandboy: (thinking) oooooo that’s called PLANTING SEEDS, right, grandpa?

Me: Sometimes the simplest things are the best.

It was either a fuzzy cuddly bumblebee or a battle orc to get at the corner shop. 

I’ll give the grandboy credit, he honestly gave the decision some thought. In the end the orc won. 

Young master wanted the fight to be fair and didn’t think the bumblebee was ready for it yet.

Grandboy (selecting a game’s display language): What’s “English (UK)” and “English (US)” and why are they different?

Me: The UK version is the original English and the US version came afterwards.

Grandboy: So now everyone speaks US version, right?

Me: No, loads of people still speak the original English. That’s why you make me say “lever” instead of “lever” so I sound like your YouTube gamers.

Grandboy (adopting a posh attitude): “Oh, yessss, I’d looove a kish, lorvely”

Me: Yes, exactly, that’s how everyone sounds in England… (makes squinty eyes at the boy)