Grandboy (waving his hand in the air): I’M THE PRESIDENT. You must do what I SAY

Me: No, actually we voted you into office. So you have to do what we ask you to do.

Grandboy: Wait, what? The president doesn’t have all the power?

Me: All elected officials are here to represent us, not tell us how to live and what to do.

Grandboy (mind blown): Oh, well then YOU can be president and I’ll tell you what to do.

—–

How quickly the path of power flows. I love the sound of liberty waking up

Grandboy: Grandpa, we should all stop using trees. We need trees for OXYGEN

Me: Well, we need to use trees to build things. Stopping all use of trees isn’t practical.

Grandboy: Maybe scientists can come up with a way to make MORE TREES. Then we’d replace the ones we use.

Me (raising an eyebrow)

Grandboy: (thinking) oooooo that’s called PLANTING SEEDS, right, grandpa?

Me: Sometimes the simplest things are the best.

It was either a fuzzy cuddly bumblebee or a battle orc to get at the corner shop. 

I’ll give the grandboy credit, he honestly gave the decision some thought. In the end the orc won. 

Young master wanted the fight to be fair and didn’t think the bumblebee was ready for it yet.

Grandboy (selecting a game’s display language): What’s “English (UK)” and “English (US)” and why are they different?

Me: The UK version is the original English and the US version came afterwards.

Grandboy: So now everyone speaks US version, right?

Me: No, loads of people still speak the original English. That’s why you make me say “lever” instead of “lever” so I sound like your YouTube gamers.

Grandboy (adopting a posh attitude): “Oh, yessss, I’d looove a kish, lorvely”

Me: Yes, exactly, that’s how everyone sounds in England… (makes squinty eyes at the boy)

Grandboy (feeling the back of my arm, near the elbow): What happened, grandpa? Your arm used to be so hard. Now it’s soft and kind of squishy.

Me: Ah that’s because of all the pizza.

Grandboy: Oh.

Me: So I guess that means no more pizza when you come visit, right?

Grandboy: Ummm maybe a little squishy is ok

Grandboy: Momma, even if I’m on Santa’s “Good List” I’d still like to get coal as a gift.

Mamasan: Why on Earth would you still want coal?

Grandboy: Well, coal is a really useful thing. You can make fire with it, turn it into a torch, use it to smelt stuff. It’s good to have.

—-
Ah, the sweet sound of a prepper growing up

Grandboy: GRANDPA

Me: Hey why the shouting?

Grandboy: Get that fly, grandpa.

(The “mosquito” from earlier was actually a fly)

Me: He’s not hurting you, leave him be.

Grandboy: Nooooo he’s bothering me.

Me: Is he bugging you?

Grandboy (looks sideways at me)

Me: He’s BUGGING you. 

Grandboy (no change in expression)

Me: He’s BUGGING you because he’s a FLY.

Grandboy (no change in expression)

Me: And you should leave him BEE????

Grandboy: ALL RIGHT GRANDPA JUST GET HIM ALREADY OK?!?!?

Grandboy: GRANDPA

Me: Yes sir. Why are you hollerin’?

Grandboy: There’s a MOSQUITO.

Me: Well, get it.

Grandboy: You don’t understand, it’s too FAAAAST

Me: Ah. You should have taken ninja training classes then.

Grandboy: I DIIID. I am a super ninja.

Me: Well then why aren’t you getting that mosquito?

Grandboy: Well if I used my super ninja tricks I’d (spins in a wide armed circle) destroy this tiny house and I’m thinking of you so (folds hands together) please can you get the mosquito please please please (blinky eyes)

—–

Ok so the kid doesn’t reveal his ninja skills but he unleashes the cute power pretty quickly, hehe

Grandboy just used the word “jiffy” to describe how quickly he plans to be somewhere. Next I’m waiting for him to tell me something is as cute as a button 😊