Grandboy (playing a video game): Gwumpa, can you get me some pizza?

Me: No, boy, you’re big enough. Take a break and go get your own piece of pizza 

Grandboy: Awwww PLEEEEASE

Me: Nope. Go get it.

…

Grandboy: Gwumpa can you get (looks at my raised eyebrow)… me a HUUUG?

(hug)

Grandboy (whispering): and some pizza?

Grandboy: …and her dad, he got stung by a WHOLE LOTTA yellow jackets and died. I don’t know if she said he was allergic but it was A LOT.

Me: O no. I’m sorry he died.

Grandboy: Yah, and.. hey, wait. Do you REALLY MEAN that or are you like, (in a mocking, singsong voice) “Oh nooo, I’m SO SORRY…”

Me: No really, that’s a sad thing for her family to go through. Think about it.

Grandboy: I KNOW. That’s why I wanted to know you knew that.

—

Oi, he’s getting that defensive armor already. I’d forgotten how brutal second grade can be!

Grandboy plays in the dirt for a few hours)

Me: Hey you’re really dirty. Shower time.

Grandboy: OK GWUMPA

(Grandboy re-enacts every scene from Spinjitzu, including the ‘falling into the abyss’ and ‘rainforest battle spectacular’. It seems soapy feet add to the challenge. At least it sounds like it from the safety of my room…)