Grandboy: Can I have soda for breakfast?

Me: No.

Grandboy: Can I have soda for breakfast?

Me: No.

Grandboy: Can I have soda for breakfast?

Me: No – WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME REPEAT MYSELF?

Grandboy: I’m reversing TIME gwumpa. That’s my superpower now. Can I have soda for breakfast?

—

I see why Superman’s earth parents had white hair, haha

Grandboy (stands up, cracks his head): OWWWW

Me: O hey that looked like it hurt.

Grandboy: WHY DO THEY MAKE THESE BEDS SO SHORT?!?

Me: Because they are bonk beds.

Grandboy (does THE LOOK)

Me (does the INNOCENT look) 

Grandboy: Oh I get it because they are bunk beds you call them bonk beds. Gwumpa, sometimes…

Grandboy is upset at prayer time. I was firm on the, “no, you can’t have a slice of pizza now” position:

Me: Ok, you don’t want to thank God for anything today. That’s ok. Is there anything you’d like to ask Him for help with?

Grandboy: Well, that mama stays safe and has good dreams, and the puppies stay safe and have good dreams, and me too. (Cracks a grin) But the next part, you may not like it…

Me: O really, what’s that?

Grandboy: Well I was going to say that you have bad dreams and the house gets destroyed, but that’s a bad prayer to ask for, so I pray you stay safe and have good dreams too.

Me (in my best “Princess Bride Grandpa” voice): Well, that does sound like a better one to pray for. I think you’ll sleep better too, knowing this house isn’t coming apart, huh?

Grandboy: Yes gwumpa but even if your house was destroyed I’d be ok, right? Cuz of my prayer?

Me: God works in mysterious ways, boy. I’d not push my luck.

Grandboy (watching me fight a character on a game and lose): Gwumpa. You gotta use a STRONGER POWER. You’re fighting the Gubbament…

—-

Someone be learning dat boy right, I reckon