Grandboy: AAAUGH!!!

Me: What are you doing?!

Grandboy: This rolling pin landed on my back.

Me: Boy, I’ve never seen a rolling pin involved in so much activity in one weekend. I need to put that thing up.

Grandboy: It’s ok, it’s not the rolling pin’s fault. It was GRAVITY.

Me: Well you know what I’m not allowing here on your next visit. GRAVITY. That’s causing a lot of problems.

Grandboy (carefully flattening his cold piece of pizza with a rolling pin)

Me: Why are you smashing your pizza with a rolling pin? Don’t goof around. Eat your pizza.

Grandboy (licks the rolling pin): I AM GWUMPA. Look at me eating it. It’s yummy

Me: Who gave you this thing, anyway?

Grandboy (holding my rolling pin): Gwumpa what’s this thing?

Me: It’s a rolling pin. You can use that to make cookies.

Grandboy: Or smack bad guys (gives a noisy demonstration)

Me: Or do both.

Grandboy (stops, thinks): O yah I can MAKE cookies, then GIVE them to the bad guys so they’ll be too busy to be bad.

Me: There you go.

Grandboy: And THEN I smack them while they’re eating.

Me: Oi boy. You’re not getting my vote as police chief.