Grandboy: Gwumpa look I’m on the roof.

Me: Yes, I see. We both are.

Grandboy (walking towards the edge): I won’t DIE if I fall off, will I, Gwumpa?

Me: You might.

Grandboy: What?!? You LET me on the ROOF if I might DIE!!!

Me: Yep.

Grandboy: Now I’m scared.

Me: Don’t be scared. Be careful. Learn the difference and you’ll be ok.

(Later, on the way down the ladder)

Grandboy: Gwumpa sing an encouraging song so I can be careful coming down.

Me (in a deep baritone): DON’T fall DOWN. If you FALL you will DIE. DON’T slip your FOOT… you will TUMBLE DOWN and FALL

Grandboy: GWUMPA. That’s NOT ENCOURAGING.

Me: Yah it is. It’s encouraging you not to slip and fall off the ladder. See? You’re on the ground already.

Grandboy: AWESOME I’M GOING IN THE HOUSE TO CALL MOM AND TELL HER I WAS ON THE ROOF

Me: Good thing I got clearance ahead of time…