Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK

Me: I see. (looks)

Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she’s gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in.

Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she needs more material sooner than later.

Grandboy: NO GWUMPA, she’s not like that.

Me: O then maybe she’ll give you candy and stuff to make your teeth fall out faster.

Grandboy: NO GWUMPA, she only likes nice clean teeth. That’s why I brush, so she can have nice WALLS on her CASTLE.

Me: And so you don’t have crabby scrabbly mouth, too.

Grandboy: Yah like this (breathes in my face)

Me: Oi boy, enough of that dragon breath. You know, teeth are kind of like old and young men. The young ones get all excited and push the old ones out. But the old ones have to be there first to make way and set up the path for the next ones. (I’m using my hands to help explain tooth movement here)

Grandboy: O wow that’s cool.

Me: Hey think of all the things that tooth has done with you all these years.

Grandboy: O yah, like the time of the FLOOD in the house.

Me: Yep, he was there with you then.

Grandboy: And when we

(we spend about 20 mins reliving memories)

Grandboy: …but you know what Gwumpa? When my tooth goes to the castle, he won’t be lonely. He’ll have the other TWO TEETH that have already gone ahead.

Me: Won’t they be busy holding up the castle wall?

Grandboy: It’s ok, they can take a break. The tooth fairy said it’s ok because they can show him what to do.

Early morning pre-breakfast chats can be good

Grandboy: (Looking at a toy on a game he’s playing) Hey that’s a Pokemon.

Me: A POKEMON?!?! How do you know what a Pokemon is?

Grandboy: Gwumpa. I know what a Pokemon is. I’ve seen Pokemon Go.

Me: Oh. Where did they go?

Grandboy: (shrugs his shoulders) Everywhere. Like a disaster, gwumpa

This passes for modern conversations, haha

I sit next to my boss. I spend a lot of time with my grandson. Sometimes these worlds collide.

Grandboy: Pointing is rude. Gwumpa, doing THIS (points his finger in my face) is bad.

Me: Yes, it is. How did you learn that?

Grandboy: At school. If you point like this (points to the wall, now that I’ve redirected his arm) and say, “Na na na na na” (wiggling his head) then you’ll be a BULLY. And that’s RUDE.

Me: Yep. (We nibble on our chocolate brownies)

Me: So what if the WHOLE CLASS was doing that to someone? Would you do it?

Grandboy: NO. That’s being a bully.

Me: And what if your best friend at school was doing it with them? Would you do it then?

Grandboy (exasperated): BAAAAH! NO GWUMPA. Still bad.

Me: You’d probably talk to your friend to tell him to stop.

Grandboy: Yep to tell him to STOP being BAD and to be a good friend.

(More chocolate brownies are nommed)

Me: So what if the whole class was doing that to a bully?

(pause and think)

Grandboy: Yah, that’s ok.

Me: Why? Then YOU’D be like the bully.

Grandboy: To make the bully STOP. So he knows how it FEELS.

Me: True. He needs to know it hurts to be teased. But maybe also you could TALK to the bully, like you would your friend. You never know, that may make a difference.

Grandboy: Yah. I like that, Gwumpa. I’ll talk to him.

As the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined