Grandboy (having just lost an online game): Well, that’s not fair but life isn’t fair, right gwumpa?

Me: Yep. Keep practicing. You’re learning stuff.

Me: [cleaning]

Grandboy: Gwumpa i’m driving my car to your shop. You can fix it for me?

Me: I can’t sorry, I’m cleaning things right now.

Grandboy: it’s PRETEND

Me: [looking over at pretend car] Sorry, I can’t play pretend. i need to get this stuff cleaned up before the working man comes here.

Grandboy: No gwumpa, PRETEND you’re playing with me.

Me: Ummmm, ok. I’m PRETENDING to play with you while i clean up the house.

Grandboy: Yay! That’s good gwumpa, good job

Me: Hey boy, come pick up these Legos.

Grandboy: UUUGH gwumpa I’m going to play with them LATERRRrrrrr…

Me: I almost stepped on one NOW. Please come pick them up.

Grandboy: Ok fine i pick them up. (starts cleaning) You know, you should be CAREFUL when you walk, or you gonna [exclaims] AAAAGH i STEPPED on a LEGO

Dog: …

Grandboy Stop laughing, Elvis. Not funny.

—-

It’s never to early to learn how to irony