Me: Hey you know why this (points to a picture) is called a dinosaur?
Grandboy: Why Gwumpa?
Me: ‘Cuz they’re dead. See? DIEnosaur.
Grandboy: Yah! They DIEnosaurs
Me: And if they were still alive they’d be LIVEasaurs
Grandboy: NO STAAAP
Me: Hey you know why this (points to a picture) is called a dinosaur?
Grandboy: Why Gwumpa?
Me: ‘Cuz they’re dead. See? DIEnosaur.
Grandboy: Yah! They DIEnosaurs
Me: And if they were still alive they’d be LIVEasaurs
Grandboy: NO STAAAP
Me: Hey where’s my hug? I didn’t get one
Grandboy (backing away): Gwumpa no you got weak soldiers in you I’ll be weak if they come over and I can’t fight when the bad guys come in the house.
Me: Yep you’re right, I’m still weak
Grandboy: Mama got strong soldiers she protect us when you get weak.
Castle Doctrine student in training here.
Grandboy (looking over my shoulder as I am on my smartphone):Gwumpa wat game you playin?
Me: No game. Look.
Grandboy (nodding sagely): OOOH that’s because you’re OLK and OLK people don’t do fun things. Only little KIDS play games on phones.
Me (still reading): Yep, that’s how it works.
Grandboy: And when I get OLK I will do BORING things too but right now I’m just a kid and I can (starts dancing and spinning)
Me (watches him dance and bounce)
Grandboy (eventually stopping, then looks over at my phone): Gwumpa wat game you playin?
Shhhh… Short Attention Span Theatre in progress
Grandboy (quietly giggling and whispering is his raspy voice): hey gwumpa you can’t find me
gwumpa over here can’t find me (giggle)
hey look for me
Me: I can’t find you ‘cuz I ain’t lookin’ for ya.
Grandboy (stands up): GWUMPA
Hehe gotta know how to flush them out of the bushes
Told the grandboy that if he didn’t behave well on our outing, we’d go eat at Cow-fil-a.
That’s where cows poke little boys with sticks and eat THEM, instead of the other way round. Seems to be working.
Sometimes medieval approaches work moderately well…