Me: Hey I’m cleaning the kitchen now, ok? Don’t get into the supplies please

Grandboy: …

— I think I miss him more than I thought I would :’)

Grandboy (waiting for corndogs in the microwave, and frustrated, arms crossed): Hmph. Gwumpa YOU eating cereal and I’M not eating.

Me: Yes, you said you wanted corndogs for breakfast. You have to wait for them to warm up.

Grandboy: But I have to wait. (Stomps foot) That’s not FAIR.

Me: Boy, LIFE ain’t fair. We chose two different things. Not every thing’s the same. Ain’t fair for me either. I don’t get to eat a corn dog.

Grandboy: Yah you don’t get a corndog.

Me: Unless I eat yours.

Grandboy: HEY THAT’S NOT FAIR

Grandboy: GWUMPAAAA you hugging me too hard. You gonna pop meeee

Me: Ok I’ll hug more softly

Grandboy: And then you’ll have no kid any more

Me: Eeek that won’t be any good.

Grandboy: And then your mom, i mean my momma will be SOOO disappointed you kill me.

Me: Yes, she might even give me a time-out.

Grandboy: YAH. So hug me like THIS (gives me a hug).

My Gwumpa Stories will be fewer and farther between after this week… Mamasan and The Grandboy are heading off to different pastures soon.

It was inevitable – mine was just a temporary safehouse in a storm.

And, like all little birds, these are ready to start flying on their own.

But not without a little breath of Gwumpa prayer to accompany God’s wind beneath their wings.

Grandboy (in his car seat, yawning): Gwumpa why you take me to school in the dark? Momma doesn’t take me to school in the dark.

Me: Ah I have to get to work before momma, so I have to leave earlier.

Grandboy: But why you work? Momma works.

Me: I need to make money and help my friends at work get stuff done.

Grandboy: But why you need money?

Me: I want to help people and take care of things like the house and car and food. Also I need to save money to take care of myself.

Grandboy (shocked, sad): Ohhh gwumpa you can’t take care of yourSELF. You need a helper to fight with you and watch for when bad guys come and protect your stuff.

— Ah the boy gets it. My job is done here.

Grandboy (playing a game): Oh [bleep]

Me: What? Grandboy: I said, ‘Oh [bleep]”

Me: That’s what I thought I heard. Don’t be saying that.

Grandboy: Oh that’s right Gwumpa. Little kids can’t say [bleep] only grown-ups can say [bleep].

Me: No one should be saying that. Please stop.

Grandboy: Ok I stop saying [bleep]. i won’t say [bleep] any more i promise.

Me: You just said it right now!

— Suddenly I had to turn away because I was reminded of a Monty Python skit that always made me laugh so much…

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ5YU_spBw0?feature=oembed&w=940&h=529]

Me: Hey don’t walk on the floor. It’s mopped and very slippery.

Grandboy: Look I can walk on the floor (hops) and I can dance on the floor, Gwumpa (spins)

Me: O now look, you can fall on the floor, too. Cool trick.

Grandboy (picking himself up): That’s NOT FUNNY Gwumpa

Me: Then why am I laughing?

Grandboy (playing a game where double-jumping is vital to success): Uhhh Gwumpa help me

Me: You have to keep trying to learn how to get past this area. Jumping is as important as fighting.

Grandboy (falling again): AAAUGH hmmm

Me: Here, let me try

Grandboy: Yah! I can learn from you how to… (watches me fall, takes the controller) No thanks, I already know how to fall, Gwumpa.

Grandboy (laying on his back on the kitchen chair): Gwumpa you do this (kicks his legs in the air)

Me: No thank you.

Grandboy: You really should try it Gwumpa (kicks one leg up again)

Me: No thank you I don’t want to be laying on my back on the kitchen chair putting my feet in the air.

Grandboy: It’s relaaaaaxing… (smiles)

Me: I’ll think about it

Grandboy (triumphant): Yay!