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Yesterday was my Dad’s birthday. He turned 77 years old.

When I phoned him to wish him well, one of the first observations he made about his age was this: He turned 77 years old. The average life expectancy for his demographic is 77.5 years. He hoped the next six months would go well for him.

We had a bit of a chuckle about that.

We spent a while just shooting the breeze, catching up on the latest news in our respective necks of the woods and talked about upcoming plans.

He said he found some old photos of me as a young adult and some of me as a kid. He’d like to hand these off to me the next time we meet in person. Also he found a stash of love letters I’d saved between me and my teen crushes. That’ll be fun reading, haha.

After closing the call I realized he and I had reached a stage a while back that was very comfortable.

I am no longer desperately grasping for his approval. This was a game-changer.

Don’t get me wrong; I still respect his insight and opinions and like it when we can joke about life, growing older, and the fact that uncertainty is still very much alive and real even with our combined 133 years of life experience.

But instead of a pair of guys who are seeking to convince and correct the other, we’re now just a couple of old pals who can comment on the state of existence and just appreciate each other’s company.

We’ve been thru a lot together in the last 50-odd years of life. We haven’t been in each other’s daily life for a few decades now but still, we’ve had our share of chats.

Here’s to six months of good health and choices for him. And six more after that. And many more after that.

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I remember as a kid reading a comic book whose series centered around ironic and gruesome tales of people who let bad influences take advantage of them. I think that was “Tales from the crypt” or “The twilight zone” or something along those lines.

There was one in particular that stuck out and influenced me from then on. It was about a guy who loved to read news stories about horrible events. He loved reading about the pain that was inflicted during the victims’ final moments. Most were mass accidents like airline crashes and car pileups and etc.

I can’t remember the fate that came to him as a result. But I remember being intrigued by the idea that people would find pleasure in knowing the details of others deaths. It saddened me and made me wonder about how normal people thought about things.

I think I was about 9 or 10 at the time and was realizing I wasn’t like normal people.

If a company spent time and energy printing a comic book about this, then I figured many people thought like this character did in the story. Why else make a tale warning them about the spiritual aspects of their interests?

From then on I always wondered what people were really thinking when they were presenting the news. Were they horrified, or excited? And what ironic fates were in store for them?

Pretty heavy stuff for someone who hadn’t yet lived a dozen years on this planet. Well, I was also witnessing stories the media painted about the horrors of the Vietnam war during that time as well. It made sense that I’d be thinking about how people would act and react in times of crisis.

Do pray for protection. Nor out of fear but out of wisdom and comfort. Stay under that huge umbrella of protection God provides. Whatever brand of Goodness you are drawn to, seek it and stay close to it.

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This one is on the love of money. “Money” is never the problem. It’s the love of money and the chase to get the best available thing that causes so much pain.

We need access to money, or we cannot do things we need to do. But the acquisition of wealth must be first focused on what is it we really need, and why we need it.

This author of the article I link to explains why he “needed” certain amounts of income and prestige. I pray each of you all take a moment to think about why you want what you want and chase those goals with eyes wide open!

PicsArt AI, “Paper money and coins”
https://www.entrepreneur.com/amphtml/371957

 

 

 

Today’s Just Be thought:

This one is on the love of money. “Money” is never the problem. It’s the love of money and the chase to get the best available thing that causes so much pain.

We need access to money, or we cannot do things we need to do. But the acquisition of wealth must be first focused on what is it we really need, and why we need it.

This author of the article I link to explains why he “needed” certain amounts of income and prestige. I pray each of you all take a moment to think about why you want what you want and chase those goals with eyes wide open!

PicsArt AI, “Paper money and coins”
https://www.entrepreneur.com/amphtml/371957

 

 

 

Today’s Just Be thought:

This one is on the love of money. “Money” is never the problem. It’s the love of money and the chase to get the best available thing that causes so much pain.

We need access to money, or we cannot do things we need to do. But the acquisition of wealth must be first focused on what is it we really need, and why we need it.

This author of the article I link to explains why he “needed” certain amounts of income and prestige. I pray each of you all take a moment to think about why you want what you want and chase those goals with eyes wide open!

PicsArt AI, “Paper money and coins”
https://www.entrepreneur.com/amphtml/371957

 

 

 

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Today’s Just Be thought

 

This thought is about taking action. Having a stoic and peace-seeking mindset does not mean waiting passively for things to happen to us.

 

It’s the exact opposite. We review our options, understand what we can control, and act on the things that we can do. Even if it’s a tiny thing.

 

PicsArt AI, “Fast action”

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeVWDPvY/

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Today’s Just Be thought

Today’s thought is about facing the unknown and how to do that. And why we unconsciously know that how we play is more than if we win the game.

This video is about 9 1/2 mins long – not very long but it covers a lot of info. I like how he describes how to use one’s power of stillness to gather valuable information. At the end he also explains how we unknowingly know why playing well is vital to successful people.

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Today’s Just Be thought

This one is from a quote from one of the most influential US presidents. He talked our way out of a potentially earth-shattering nuclear war with Cuba a few years before I was born. I’m thankful for all of us that this was his mindset:

“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.” —John F. Kennedy

PicsArt AI, “Peaceful scene”

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Just am update of my post-CPAP experience for anyone who is interested. It’s been a few months now.

I’m a natural scientist and analyst. Makes sense that I’d focus on the impact of the experience. The machine I use provides a daily measurement of key components of my rest, so that’s always fun to analyse. I don’t feel any more rested than usual, but the machine says I’m resting better than before, and it provides facts and data, so I’ll hold off on arguing with it for a while.

But there’s one item that is markedly different.

The dreams are no longer lifelike. That’s the major change.

Used to be, I’d wake up and recall my dreams as a normal extension of waking life. No flying, no dramatic experiences, no weird scenarios. I’d hide a lot in my dreams but to be honest I’d likely hide in real life a lot if I could get away with that, haha. Usually I’d dream that I was driving or mowing the grass or having a chat with folks I normally chat with. Maybe pet a cat that magically appeared but it would be a normal cat and act like one. And I’d remember things from previous dreams all the time.. “O yes, this is where I left that potato. I wondered where it went.” And if often get frustrated when I was awake and I’d look for something that I put down while I was sleeping and dreaming, and it wasn’t there.

Now, it’s really bizarre when I drop off into that deep REM state. I don’t realise just how odd that place can be unless the alarm pulls me out of it on occasion as apparently I can no longer remember my dreams otherwise.

Last night’s – or rather this morning’s – waking dream at the alarm was so complex that my conscious mind still can’t wrap its head around all the imagery. This one involved trees that gushed water and raw steak as I was wrapping plastic wrap around them while an ex-wife was asking me what time it was in Bangalore.

Y’all normal people actually live like this every night for your entire existence? Wow. It’s like living in a music video produced by mad pygmies dining on acid.

PicsArt AI, “Meat trees crying water” and “a music video produced by mad pygmies dining on acid”

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Today’s Just Be thought

Be kind. This is the first attribute of stoicism noted on a web page I’ll share. Kindness is not weakness. One can be strong of character and still be kind. As a matter of fact, in some situations, kindness requires strength of character!

Here’s the link to the basics of Stoicism. Although I have been practicing this for years I still review the basics on a frequent basis.

Here’s the bit from the page that caught my eye: ““Kindness is invincible,” says Marcus Aurelius, as long as it’s sincere. “For what can even the most malicious person do if you keep showing kindness?””

How to Be Stoic – 10 Mindsets to Live By

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I am at my work desk. The grandboy has just walked in is admiring my desk toy.

Grandboy: Hey grandpa, can I play “Assassin’s Creed”?

I make a fake upset face.

Grandboy: I know grandpa (gestures to my flying pig squeeze toy), when pigs fly…

Me: Yep sure you can play. Thank you for asking.

Grandboy: But you know, flying pigs would be awesome. You can make a pig fly, too, in real life. Just get a rope or something.

Me: I’m not sure the pig would like it up there.

Grandboy: Yah he’d have all kinds of trouble. Birds pecking at him, airplanes…

Me: Godzilla.

Grandboy: Yah! And sky-beasts (his hand dive-bombs my toy). But technically, Godzilla IS a sky-beast ‘cuz he’s so tall. Good one, Grandpa.

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Last week’s events inspired a country song from yours truly.

(Think of Roy Clark plucking those strings, and you’ve got the general idea here)

All them dirty dishes in mah sink
They’s gettin’ pretty rank enuff ta stink
There ain’t no power here inside this room
And soon we are a preppin’ for the doom

Dirty dishes
Broken wishes
Dyin’ fishes
From the storm

Dirty dishes
Broken wishes
Dyin’ fishes
Ain’t the norm

We got no water here ta take a bath
There’s plenty snow out there to make a path
We scoops it up and puts it in the pan
Just boil it up a’top the butane can

Dirty dishes
Broken wishes
Dyin’ fishes
From the storm

Dirty dishes
Broken wishes
Dyin’ fishes
Ain’t the norm

Mah roommate said he would be back at noon
But that was yesterday, that rude buffoon
It was his turn to melt the snow today
I guess he done gone up and run away

Dirty dishes
Broken wishes
Dyin’ fishes
From the storm

Dirty dishes
Broken wishes
Dyin’ fishes
Ain’t the norm

PicsArt AI, “Record album cover of Dirty dishes, dying fishes, broken wishes, in a winter storm”

(Repeat)

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I don’t know why, but a memory from my early teen years popped into existence.

I had a very dear friend from junior high and we’d been separated due to our family moving out of state. Being an 11 to 13 yr old, our writing skills didn’t extend to postal mail and we lost contact with each other over time.

We’d moved back to the city where my friend and I lived, and I was now old enough to drive my dad’s car. I found my friend’s mom’s number in the White Pages and shakily dialed the number from my parent’s house phone attached to the dining room wall.

This was an era before pocket computers, when appliances hadn’t any intelligence, and the only way to know who phoned you was to dial *69 – if you were affluent enough to pay for the custom service to tell you who just called the house line.

So I dialled, and waited, and a weary female voice answered.

“Hello?”, she asked.

“Um, hi, ah this is John.”, I started shakily. I knew my friend’s mom had answered. She was a single mom of two children who were always getting into mischief. She wasn’t one to make cross. “May I speak with Pat please?” I continued nervously.

“Ah. No. And never call here again.” (Slam-click)

This was also the era when one could literally hear the receiver hit the holding bracket when the person slammed the phone down.

I was devastated. I knew I had gotten into a few scrapes with authority figures with her son in the past, but didn’t think she’d have held it against me so harshly.

Thankfully, as it turned out for me in the end, I wasn’t the person she thought I was. What happened was I had the unfortunate luck of sharing the same name as the ex-boyfriend of my friend’s older sister. Mama bear wasn’t angry with me but was protecting her cub.

Memories are funny things. Someday I’ll find out why this one popped up to say, “Hi”.

Not to worry. I didn’t tell it to never call again, haha

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Today’s Just Be thought

I was so happy to see you employing this technique this week. Also I am happy I didn’t let the frozen water pump put me in a funk. We saw the problem, came up with a solution, and did the best we could given what we had to hand.

Also, I didn’t stop and fuss and moan about the lack of running water. Instead I kept trying different things until finally the water started flowing again. I was fully prepared for a completely frozen tank and the possibility of costly repairs and still have no running water for possibly weeks.

As shown on the video, I foresaw the possible worst case scenario and planned for it.

When the reality came out much better, my level of happiness was much greater than if I’d have been grumbling about my bad luck.

I know what to do now to keep from having this issue again when it happens (and it will happen again) and am better for the experience.

Hugs to you!

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It’s 33 degrees fahrenheit outside. It’s raining. Ice has formed on my bird feeders.

I worry about my 11-yr old pup. He doesn’t like to be inside but I’m worried about his aging bones and the weather conditions.

O there he is. Casually strolling along the fence he patrols. His coat is wet from the freezing rain but he doesn’t seem to care.

This is the same pup who sunbathes outside when it’s over 110 degrees fahrenheit.

What is he made of? I want some of that, haha

PicsArt AI, “Black Labrador dog walking away in a snowstorm”

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Ten years ago if anyone would have told me I’d be sipping Scotch in a chair a few feet from my cow and baby german shepherd I’d have thought I’d have heard things.

PicsArt AI, “Scotch”

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I’ve recently been diagnosed with sleep apnea.

The most fascinating thing about this is that for half a century now I thought I was a lucid dreamer with a commitment complex.

All of the most interesting, compelling, and delicious dream scenarios have been interrupted by me bowing out and apologising for my need to leave.

I always assumed my pounding heart on awakening was a reaction to departing forcibly on my own.

Turns out it was all due to me fighting for air, haha. I wasn’t a purposeful slouch afraid to soar in the air or pursue that imagined love affair. Also I was never truly asleep but in a constant dozing state.

What will the next half-century bring when I become captain and commander of the dreams I shall fearfully and wonderfully craft?

The times, they are a-changin

(Edit and addition)

Just got out of the Dr visit. It seems the two-day sleep study showed I had one 30-minute deep sleep session in the set.

If I was never truly asleep, then have I ever been truly awake?

Woah, shades of The Matrix here

PicsArt AI, “Sleepwalking man”

 

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As I was chatting with a dear friend I realised why my visits to this blog are becoming more and more infrequent.

This blog’s ancestry came from a much much earlier one that was born from anticipated adventure and hope. That was left unattended for a spell while those adventures took place.

Then things fell and that blog died as the life I knew came crashing down on and around me.

This blog was born then, during a period of dark and unhappy surprise and pain. Quite like most births, I suppose.

The last thirteen years has been an era of interesting times for me and family. We’ve experienced a sort of death that is quite odd but shared by many.

With the death of an individual, we know that person can’t take new action to impact us any more. Their decisions can continue to affect our current and future lives, but the person can’t actively change things any more. That is saddening or hopeful, depending on our relationship with the person.

But a death of a family structure, ah that’s a different beast. I’ll dedicate a separate post on that idea alone.

Back to the point of this post.

I realised I’d not posted here in almost a year.

It’s not because I’m too busy.

It’s not because meaningful things haven’t happened.

It’s not because I’ve suddenly lost the desire to write.

It’s because I’ve finally accepted the death, and it wasn’t mine in the end.

But this isn’t the end of this blog. From charred ground new sprouts arise.

 

I’ve finally accepted the loss. Soon it will be time for a time of refresh and revival.

And new blog posts? I’m eager to see what future me is ready to post.


PicsArt AI, “Sprouting seedling”

 

 

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Today’s Just Be thought

Today’s thought is on doing things. What things?

That depends.

It depends on what we can do, what we should do, and how well we choose to do it.

The key bit is choice. We must consider our actions as choices and not things we are cornered or coerced into doing.

We can be tricked, and that can lead to a course of action that is not of our choice, but we can learn from this and choose to be tricked again or choose to do things differently next time.

Here’s the quote:

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”

Lou Holtz

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I know it’s late but here’s today’s Just Be thought

This is about reaching our goals and eventually our dreams.

One goal, one day at a time. One step after another.

In the midst of confusion and chaos, beauty and peace exist. Seek the beauty and peace.

That will provide sustenance until tomorrow. Then look for it again the next day and enjoy it when you find it.

This won’t eliminate doubt, pain, or frustration. But this will prevent those emotions from guiding our path.

We choose where to go, even if we don’t feel like we do.