if i were a nuclear physicist who was also a genetic biologist, i’d be tempted to engineer a nuclear cow, but would hesitate to do so for fear that the results would be udderly devastating.
Author: Der Monkey
Lor-etta! Fetch me a beer and mah gun
O I really needed this laugh… was doing research on Class A misdemeanors in Texas and came upon a question posted on a web page: “(I)…was charged with a class a misdemeeanor for assault of a family member
if convicted how much time do i have to wait to possess a firearm again?”
My thoughts? Ummm maybe forever?
Hey you, yah you over there in the future, hold it right there
Treat your future self as you would treat any of your other dear friends.
When you realize the significance of this concept you’ll view your current attitudes about relationships and finance in a new light 🙂
Ha! The fools
hey did you know today is april fool’s day?
—
31 March 2010 at 16:34
[commenter] I forgot all about it! Thanks for the reminder.
31 March 2010 at 16:47
[commenter] April Fools – it’s not until tomorrow. Oh wait, I can’t say April Fools today. This is so confusing!
31 March 2010 at 16:48
heh heh heh and so it begins…
Spell check is disabled in the real world
O how silly.
I’ve been working with computers for too many years.
Just wrote something on a piece of paper, wasn’t sure of the spelling, and was waiting for the red squiggly underline to appear to tell me it was misspelled. D’oh!
Trashy man is here again this week
Ok so I’m working from home (yes working not playing on FB) and noticed one of the garbagemen threw a wrapper of some sort on the ground before picking up my bin.
Kind of ironic i think.
Worth it all
Yah when you’re an honorable man, people will sometimes take advantage of you, will sometimes take your stuff.
But they can’t take your honor, and your kids will note that.
If you are blessed you might even hear your beliefs repeated in your kids’ own words 🙂 and then it’s a good day.
Tentalizing
God’s with me and i like His humour.
Just wrote a check for tithe. The check number is 1010.
Today’s date? 01-10-10 (in england that would be 10-01-10).
Odd thing about binary humour, it’s either funny or it’s not 😀
Can’t see it if it’s camoflauged
My new ride maybe? My current truck is the maroon one 🙂
Predator is approaching
You shall hear the predator in one of three situations:
1. When he is attacking out of fear.
2. When he is attacking out of anger.
3. When he is bluffing an attack.
Else he shall be silent. Learn the meaning of the sounds you hear, and be wary of the silence that cloaks an attack.
Life? Don’t talk to me about Life
Of course my life is difficult.
If it was meant to be easy, God would have assigned any random monkey to manage it.
Although, looking at it more closely, i’m beginning to suspect it WAS, and He HAS… 😛
There’s a reason we can’t break the speed of Dark
The only thing faster than Light is Dark.
It’s already there before the light has barely started on its journey…
Anakin Skywalker
Complexity
I am a fan of the concept of “Complexity”.
“Complexity” is akin to “Chaos Theory” but with an added dimension. It’s up there with some of Einstein’s, Stephen Hawking’s, Douglas Adams’ and Terry Pratchett’s deep thoughts of Liff, The Universe, and Everything.
Now before I go scaring you off, it means basically this:
Imagine a mature tree, with strong, deep roots embedded deeply in the ground.
Imagine a solid cliffside by the sea, aeons old and basically immovable.
By themselves, these do nothing, except maybe observe the leaf or odd pebble tumbling off themselves.
Some might say this is boring. And some might be quite right.
In contrast, imagine a different scenario, tumbling in over the horizon and coming very very quickly.
Envision lots of water. And wind. Lots and lots of wind.
Water and wind in motion is, in essence, the core concept of “Chaos Theory”, where things change constantly and no one can predict where something will be from one moment to the next.
Some might say this is frightening. And some might be quite right.
Now what happens when the two worlds collide?
Or to put it more accurately, when the chaotic world collides with, and engulfs the static and motionless world?
When this happens, we have what is called a “Complex System”.
Lots of stuff happening here.
Some of the moving things STOP moving and some of the stationary things START moving. Usually in a hurry. Depending on the storm, it can be quite full of Drama.
Some might call this exciting. I personally believe this to be right.
This I believe is where Life began, where God placed His infinitely large and microscopic hand in a complex stew of rigidity and turbulence and bound the two together for all of eternity.
Coming out of this is also another thought.
I believe Excitement is where Fear meets Confidence.
One cannot be excited if one is in terror of a thing. Neither can one be excited if one is bored to tears.
Only when the two meet is when true heartfelt excitement – and joyful laughter – comes bubbling forth.
Those of a technical mind may want to come up with a formula like E=F+C or other such thing and try calculate the impact and predict how this works. I’ve tried. So have others who have much much more time and mental capacity to do this 🙂
Those of a different mind may want to just watch the excitement as it comes ones way, because the same concept applies to our personal lives, just as it applies to wind, rain, trees and cliffsides.
I can’t avoid the Chaos so I aim to seek Confidence. That way, when the storms of life hit, I dig deep and hold my roots or solid rock foundation steady. And only then can I try to enjoy the excitement that comes.
This doesn’t mean I come out of the storms unhurt.
Sides of cliffs crumble.
Limbs of trees are torn off.
That is life, and we can’t avoid that.
But we can survive. In surviving we can appreciate the source of my Confidence, who is my God and my Lord**, and look to Him for healing when healing is needed.
** actually He doesn’t belong to me, I’m HIS and just am glad to be in His heart
As for Healing, that ultimately comes from God, but sometimes He administers this through his own creations, his cherished ones. Amazingly enough, yes, through us, broken and scarred and scared and joyful ones.
I could write another story about that subject alone. And perhaps I shall.
But for the moment, I’ll simply look out my metaphoric window and ponder the coming storm.
And will find excitement in it.
Corpspeak at its confusingest
I came across an email that gave a glowing review of a company’s internal website. There was one line that really made be grin and chuckle in the way my colleagues have learned to love and ignore:
“The launch and use of this (internal website) has been so positive that we are making active decisions based upon the data.”
Now as for me, I really really like active decisions. It’s those pesky passive decisions that keep us from progressing our deliverables.
Or worse, deprogressing the deliverables, which is when we stop progressing and start moving backwards, which means we have to start undeprogressing them (which is to stop moving backwards).
At this stage that we’ve probably simply stopped, and are waiting for someone to make an active decision to help us progress again.
Or shall I say reprogress?
This kid is waaaaaaaayyyyyy to tired
No camp trip
Camp trip canceled
Family camp trip
Recent church camp experience was so inspiring i’m doing it again!
This time with me kids.
And a dog.
And this time i may even get on the water 🙂 Hope to see a gator too, Yay
Never wake a sleeping hamster
Believe it or not, when gently petting a sleeping hamster, one is greeted with a dance less like the “Hamster Dance”
and more like the “Enraged Bull Dance”
Church good
The nice thing about church is that it’s less like a magical land where wishes come true
And more like a hospital where injured people go to get better 😀