This is a bit of a different post. Actually this was an unfinished tale of beasts and men, bold and fools alike.
I’d started drafting this ‘tween classes, in study hall, while the teachers were settling down the problem classmates, and during the doldrums in high school when my imagination was bursting.
What stands out are these things:
- I was strongly influenced by Lewis Carroll (and nothing else!)
- I fit this into 19 lines of wide-ruled paper. So roughly 8 hand-written lines per 1 line of 3-hole punch paper. I’ve linked to a scanned copy for those who want to see this in action.
- There was no erasing or re-writing the lines (save for one line). So I had to really think about what it was I wanted to put on paper before I wrote.
- This is to be read only out loud, and in one’s best Shakespearean Voice (Not BBC – or Received Pronunciation). If you haven’t yet developed a Shakespearean Voice, I’ve linked to a good resource on how to do so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi-rejaoP7U
- The rhythm needs to be cleaned up a bit as the lyrical bounce doesn’t always flow well. But, given that this was drafted in fits and starts of 3 – 20 mins of work, spread out sporadically over weeks, I’m not overly critical.
- I added separator lines between “stanzas” but these are my modern, best-guess efforts to delineate my younger self’s lines of thought. I’ll probably go back and re-arrange these over time.
- This needs to be finished. Maybe I’ll put very sharpened pencil to paper and finish what I started three decades ago. But I’d better hurry because my eyesight is fading quickly…!
In the orange-covered forest by the purple-hazed frog the green golly goober ate the jolly dolly dog. And the knight of all the Daze drank up all the milky ways while the catastrophic egg saw the way, saw the way
If the flypper flopped the folly and the giant weren't so jolly while the president was calling all the men, all the men would the ants of Christmas folly jump the manager named Polly and the older brother Wally while they feasted on the floor?
"I say not!" said Campton Hampton, the general of the allied force as the disembodied spirit of Napoleon changed his course. Nelly Kelly, jelly belly ate a stubborn horse named Telly 'cause he thought it was quite selly to see the Frenchman fly around. So he belched up all the pieces then ate up a flock of golden geeses that flew 'round the aged moor. To protest, the ugly duckling tossed a hand grenade at Nel. "An egg" he would have sworn but quickly found his innards torn by the prickly, prickly thorn born of war, born of war. Antikillers marched around showing God the blessed crown but to us in London Town we're fifteen yards until first down
Twas the rain that caused the Master to speed closer to Disaster so the oil made of caster would release its deadly waste. "Cannot see!" said Ivan V., the game show host from Tennessee so we ran to see the sight that had given him such fright. Beside a man in black and gold doing not was it was told was a doggie who had sold his doggie soul for rock & roll.
We turned back and could not look for the munchkin-eating cook gazed at us with such distaste that we found ourselves to blame. And the airplane in the breeze did not hear the birdie sneeze and gasp and choke and cough and wheeze and finally ask, "if you please, give me something good to drink." So the Frog, who did hear hymn, followed every thought and whim - found a man named Gorgeous Gym who was sleek, and strong, and slim - took this man and his friend Tim... took them both away
It was no shock to see the spock of captain kirkan fame materialise from inner space to say we all were tame compared to men from alpha cent who came and gone, who gone and went. "Illogical", you'd hear him say about the way we live today.
But the purple-hazed frog returning from the boogie bog grabbed a folly-flopping flipper and slaughtered all the Christmas ants, Happy's Ghost and Nelly Kelly, floated inside the vision telly, scaring antikillers all round the freakin' blessed bloody crown.
"STOP!" cried the spock, his pointed ears raised up all our hidden fears. So we stopped and listened all day to hear what this dude had to say. He shot the cook to start the meeting, offered us a hearty greeting sat us down and started to eat the jolly dolly dog. He stuffed his mouth and stuffed his ears, and quickly downed fifteen beers. "Folks," he said when he was done "it's been real and it's been fun but we're really getting nothing done for a shilling and a pound. I suggest we do our best to capture all the inner worlds." "But that's dirty!" cried the birdie who found himself amazed for the spock pulled out his phaser and had the birdie phased.
He turned about, "Join him, anyone?" To no one's surprise, there were none. "Well, then, men, we're on our way!" and they left that very day to attack the inner planets of Globbis, Sworthk, and Bel-antis.
The journey took a million years - actually a million beers. The drunken crew of man and beast started on this planet-feast. They hyperspaced to Globbis first - the Globbis-people faced the worst from a crew of drunken men. The president and hazed-frog, Ivan V. and rockin dog, Golly Goober and dazed knight gave the people freakin' fright. Campton Hampton led the fray but no one knew that he was gay. The Elven people of the land fought the stinkin', drunken band for they knew their lives depended on the slaughter of the beasts. Fighting bravely, teeth and claws, broken limbs and broken jaws showed the toll both sides would take as they battled through the night.
The jolly jelly giant took a breadknife through the knee. If the giant weren't so giant he would have been a she.
In the thirteenth hour of war when both sides began to tire the Elvin King began a fire he said, "Gloddit bagnog ballin bid" which means, "Bring me magic liquid" (he was talking 'bout the Horsh) The Horsh is magic liquid led by Elvin Kings to destroy enemy Raiders and change the Scheme of Things. The Elves brought the stuff but brought more than enough. All over the floor they spilled the Horsh! It was all over the floor [unfinished ode sits, unfinished yet]